Yesterday I spoke to my inspiring and amazing cousin about how I’ve felt over the years about her. I honestly had to admit that for years I was jealous because I did not have the same opportunities and she was always highly favored by my Aunts and Uncles. For much of my time here on earth I was enslaved with feelings of inadequacy and the outlet for how I felt towards those whom I believed were blessed and loved by God misguided me towards my own self-hatred. From the outside you can look at someone else’s situation and believe that they have the easy life. That belief transformed into so many internal weaknesses throughout my years that I did not recognize the relationships that were impacted by my brokenness. A broken foundation has shown me many things and today I want to talk about Time Management.
I love video games, more so, I love the type of games which are action packed and permeated with clues. Final Fantasy VII and the first Resident Evil were the first two games that I’ve ever played which helped me to use my problem solving and time management skills. I love puzzles with clues that you have to courageously investigate to propel the character to the next level where the challenges for the main character elevate from level to level and ultimately impacts their skills. What makes me an effective role-playing gamer is my desire to resolve conflict. Role playing games help you to manage your time. A great RPG will include tasks which are time sensitive. With much appreciation to my cousin I have downloaded an app that helps me to be accountable for my time. In the past I’ve run into challenges which were difficult for me and because I did not find ways to be accountable for my time I wasted them by applying the “Woe is me” effect throughout every area of my life.
Not wanting to be a manipulator, I had to admit that I was responsible for how I felt about my life. I blamed others for thoughts of my own limitations because I believed that everyone spoke negatively when they saw my face or knew a minuscule amount of information about the deeds I’ve done in the dark. I can’t alter how I’ve felt in the past but, I can immediately take charge for my future by acknowledging my shortcomings. I long to live a full life regardless of the mistakes I’ve made and I believe the past has formed its own definition for a reason. After I’ve forgiven all discomforts I was able to move forward and assign my time appropriately. I’ve learned from failure that time is something that I have control of separate from the end of my time here on earth. Once again, thanks to my cousin accountability is enjoyable for me.
Our time is all we have and when we divide the minutes, seconds, and hours we are confronted with the truth of the importance of time. Time is the ultimate figure in our lives that we can see the immediate results of when we look at ourselves in the mirror or see the outer reflections of those who surround us. By developing daily schedules I discipline myself so that when I am faced with any difficulty I can overcome them by being accountable for my time. In my truth practicing accountability is new to me but, before I approached this practice I knew that I was in desperate need of discipline. I am thankful and grateful for providing explanations to myself for how I spend my time. Thanks to my cousins advisement I am no longer overruled by defeat for, defeat is only an opportunity for us to make amends with failure. Failure is a superficial word so we always have the opportunity to turn our circumstances around to make our prospective futures brighter.
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Be Accountable Always,
Miya
The Happy Nappy Project 