I’ve Finally Graduated!

In effort to bring a little comfort in these dark days I love to put on a comedy and laugh until I cry. Laughter is good for the soul. My latest binge has been the show How I Met Your Mother. In my opinion, this show is relevant for adults around my age group from their late 20’s to early 40’s but, forever more this show is perfect for me to watch at this stage of my life. When I watch anything now I am aware of the intent of the programming and for that reason I won’t watch anything that isn’t a positive spiritual investment. As I evolve I can only imagine that I may completely severe the ties of the programming I allow in my life currently. But, this isn’t a blog post about illustrated lies told to our vision or suggestive programming from the music we listen to.

This is a post about How I Met Your Mother Episode 620 titled “The Exploding Meatball Sub”.  In this episode The five characters in the show, Ted, Marshall, Lilly, Barney and Robin were having a discussion about Graduation Goggles. Graduation Goggles occur when a relationship of any kind is coming to a close and suddenly you unveil all the heartfelt moments. What you hated about the person or situation all of a sudden isn’t that bad. All you can reminisce upon are the good times you’ve experienced. The pain of letting go severs a chord deep inside the human heart and rather than us facing what we need to say goodbye to we hold onto it dearly even when it starts to hurt.

I experienced Graduation Goggles through every breakup with my ex . I never had a problem exploring new possibilities regarding my employment and I have never dwelled too long on other relationships that had to come to a close but, the Graduation Goggles for my ex has always called me into a room where I am tortured with memories of the good times we’ve had and what could have been. Graduation Goggles are like stitches after a surgery and one day those stitches have to come out to avoid infection. Once the stitches are removed the initial pain returns and when you  have to clinch onto a soft surface you wish the stitches could have stayed just to avoid the slow burn of a wound that has to be rejuvenated.

My Graduation Goggles always focused on who he was when we first met and the changed man he positioned himself as when he asked to return. In truth, he and I were definitely not meant to be together for the long haul. He has characteristic traits whose dominance and inferiority are off-balance. I am very susceptible to the human heart. I’ve recognized long ago that I am no Super Girl but, I love to feel like I can atone fractured tenderness. When the flesh attempts to wrestle against the flesh both die. I can’t correct what is not meant for me to correct, that is titled under God. In his defense I wasn’t crazy about being a step-mother to his children nor was I a willing participant when catering to his beck and call like I was some Stepford Wife. I digress, The Graduation Goggles missed those key facts when it was time to let go.

A few days ago I felt we had our final goodbye. All I’ve ever wanted from him was the truth. I love and accepted this man for all he was and I thank God for that. For the past 10 years that we’ve been playing this dance I’ve known that he was in love with his long-time high school sweet heart. I knew that his heart wanted to hold onto me for selfish reasons. Misunderstanding unconditional love I allowed myself to be taken advantage of. This final time I re-examined my Christ-like deeds and thought God was telling me that it was time to say goodbye to this wonderful being one last time. God took hold of my ego and said, “It’s ok now let me handle this.” For years I used to question why God would allow me to be crushed like a worthless insect in the department of Love. The other day I was finally able to see how opposite our ways and God’s ways are. I can hear God speak to me and he says,  “Give me your heart and I will take up this cross for you. I have something waiting for you and you are worth more than all the riches of this world.”

Through it all God used me for a greater purpose. What I expect for myself is amplified by God and knowing this allowed me to accept that the time had come for me and my ex to say goodbye one last time. God gave me the peaceful ending I’ve always wanted with my ex. All of the other break-ups were violent and left a lot unresolved pain. I worked at mending my broken heart with a man whose path was not in my direction. There were no mistakes because this was ordained by a higher calling.  Writing this blog dispositions my will at times but, who can say their will is greater than Gods.

My tears are evidence I’ve survived my deceitful heart. Unconditional matters can only be taken up by the Alpha and the Omega. I can see clearly now that I know my rain is controlled by a God who is the Master of perfect timing. When we graduate it means we’ve learned all we can and we must move onward on life’s path. We are going to think about all of the good times and what could have been but, there is one thing in life our hearts can never come between; fate. Life is designed perfectly in God’s order. Keep those good times close to help you understand love through each departed experience. I’ve gone through the fire and have been blessed with many exits. From this day forward I will dwell in the house of the Lord. 

Thank you for visiting my site today. Like this post and leave a comment, follow my journey and share with the links below. 

Live in Love, 



Entirely, glory and honor belongs to God. More so, God praises us when we allow his spirit to use our body as his temple. To trust God with everything is paradise. When I was a little girl my grandmother passed away from cancer. Days leading up to her passing I started to feel restless, like something big was coming. When she passed I was watching Troop Beverly Hills,1989. I can now see that movie was her goodbye to me and I should probably go back and watch it again with my brand new eyes. Her passing was on her terms and God made it so. Even when she was sick with cancer, God kept her safe. My grandmother lived with me and my family. My sister had her own room and so did I. When my grandmother grew weaker from the spirit of cancer she was put on hospice care and because my father was a stay at home dad she lived with us and slept no more than 3FT away from me in my bedroom. She suffered for was seemed like years to me and I was 9 years of age at the time of her passing. I watched the cancer eat away at my grandmother’s flesh but, her God kept her with enough strength.

He kept her alive because she had a very important job to do that would guide me for the rest of my life. When she passed I lost an innocence that only I believed existed in plastic toys that smelled of strawberries. I was an immaculate child and that was what God held onto hold for me until I was ready to reclaim God’s glory. I remember the church at which her funeral was arranged. It was considered to be my family church, Triumph Baptist Church is the name. At 9 I can remember walking up to my grandmother’s casket afraid and not understanding who God was. I hated him and feared him the day my grandmother returned to where she was sent. I don’t remember the choir selections or the perfect words spoken about my grandmother’s hard work. The only thing I can remember is when I saw God’s light. Above her casket hung a painted photo of my beautiful grandmother.The painting was alive and as a vessel God used that photo to send me a memorandum.

In school we hear of fables, poems through song, and see illustrated delights of the halo. Gently and lovingly light began to move in majestically around my grandmother’s crown. Immediately, the luminescence commanded my tears be banished from my soft and tender skin. From the light I knew pain was not allowed there and from that moment God continued a covenant which, was inherited through my grandmother’s blood. I was able to see God’s light and live so that I could remember that glowing promise he made with me on the last day I would ever see my grandmothers shell. God spoke to me through my experiences. God knew the agony I would have to endure. From the day I lost my child and dusted off all of the sceneries of the earth God was teaching me how to love. I was shown the light to remember he would return once more and fully restored I would already be the product of God’s grace. At 18 God whispered to me, “You will share the story of Job.” My life grew to be absent of everything and God ascertained in me the gift of picking up my cross and following my creator. I am so much more without those things. When my treasure is placed in God, I have a defender that will use his power through my feeble body.

Blessed be the light of God which never goes out even when we think all hope is lost. To those who’ve lost everything try to understand that there was a predestined plan put into place before you were born into this world. God never has to improve our lives. He cries out incessantly, “It is done!” To his children and he doesn’t turn us away for, once again, his plan in us was predestined.  Our ignorance was carved before we were born and God planned this so that our experiences would draw us into being the salt of the earth.  God feels rewarded when you give him your undivided love and attention. God takes the lead in all areas of your life. You can live with a new heart and with a purpose that is placed upon an uncontested pedestal.

Thank you reading my blog today. I am really starting to fully enjoy sharing what I have to say more than ever before. I am a small being used by a force greater than myself. God grants greatness for all of our lives. Remember that the words of our creator are true, the meek will inherit the earth. There is purpose for the many heartbreaks and lonely feelings you’ve felt and here is the cold truth, those feelings may continue. My advice, leave it all up to God to sort out the junk in his timing. Summit yourself before your master and all will be made whole. I am grateful that I am able speak of Gods power as it moves through every step in the spiritual planes and God can use me to display his greatest in this reality.

Like this post and be free to share your experiences. Also, follow my journey if you are in spiritual agreement with my messages and share with the links below. “We can find joy in all things,” Is my motto and I am here to prove it in the name of the Great I AM.

Little Things, Less Room For Change

A few nights ago I had my nephew compose a story for me about his day. I did this because he struggles with correlating what he thinks over what he has to say. Preeminent beyond my comprehension I want to nurture his spirit so he can reach his greatest potential in this reality. I was enthralled, the beginning of his story was both passionate and evocative. Every morning he wakes up, brushes his teeth and tongue (in his words), gets washed up, travels down into the kitchen to make breakfast for himself, takes a nap or entertains himself by watching YouTube or playing video games until his sister comes to pick him up to take him to school. In his own words I could feel his descriptions as he was preparing himself during his morning routine.  More than anything in my life I adore my Nephew. We have a kindred bond that can never be broken and I learn from him every day. I see so much of myself in my nephew. I made a vow to myself that night; I will help propel his inner being to concur his ego for, something we cannot see doesn’t have to be illustrated. The little things will have you caught in the middle of building a solid foundation in many areas. Today I will focus on three areas that are most affected: family, the relationship with self and the greatest of all, our life purpose.

I’ve watched a lot of programming and one of the phrases I’ve collected was “grey areas”. Grey areas involves terms and conditions that may not suit you if the terms and conditions are not met. The little things that we define in our life are the grey areas. Our love comes with terms and conditions and when the expectations are not met there is an early termination fee attached. The early termination fee works in reverse and begins to tear down our relationships. When the relationship with our family becomes broken we tend to consistently define the little things instead of focusing on the bigger picture. Our family members are the immediate reflections of ourselves. If there is one broken component in a machine it will not function properly. Likewise, with family if one member descends into a broken nature the entire ship will begin to sink. That is a loaded gun description. Not one person can stand strong forever if there are no familial foundations. When the attention is on “reasons” we begin to lose sight of what should be valid and that is to build bridges over anything that doesn’t elevate appreciation.

Mental Analysis seeds ideas into the pituitary gland and the pituitary gland processes those ideas and turns them into what we call human emotion. At a specific stage in my life I lost focus on greater things and chose to believe that I would never achieve my dreams. With no doubts I believed I was grotesque, imprudent, and obese. My dogmas kept the record of discord on repeat until the day I was awakened from a very long slumber; thoughts become reality. With all this new-found wisdom I’ve discovered that the reality that I’ve been part of for 36 years was false. When you wake up in consciousness you instantly become crushed because most of the responses you’ve collected in life was a lie. Conscious awareness can either lead you to your death or you can benefit by building a life filled with infinite possibilities. Knowing that you play an integral role in your fate speaks volumes of why it is important to have a positive relationship with yourself. When we have a limited relationship with ourselves we create boundaries by defining limitations which prohibits us from following through with our hopes and dreams. Become your own best friend by taking control and pulling away from the little things that keep you from becoming your greatest self. I think therefore I am.

When focus is off in the land of the forgotten we tend to lose sight of our purpose. If you keep defining lack and limitation in yourself, in family and friends, with work associates and complete strangers your purpose will be further than you would like, so you must expect an array of disappointments. Those disappointments should force us to thrive but, we were programmed to define every detail and live in a reality where emotions rule the majority of the populace. I am certain I came to experience life by seeking first the kingdom of heaven from within. The kingdom is always present and mourns with us throughout our darkest experiences. The kingdom wants us to use its infinite wisdom to fulfill the true purpose we were designed to complete in this life. We must use the reality around us as our stepping stone to propel us into next level experiences. Next level experiences leads us to abundance beyond our wildest dreams.

I live to launch rockets of desire in myself and I am grateful that I am able to do the same for my family, friends and those I have yet to meet. My advice, never allow details to limit your relationships with your family, friends, co-workers, strangers and most importantly yourself. It is difficult for purpose to navigate when limitations are present. Remember that whatever is broken can only be repaired by love and appreciation.

Thank you so much for visiting! Like this post and leave a comment if you feel moved to do so. Follow my journey and share with the links below.

Be Free of Little Things,


Internal Love Affair, The War Has Just Begun

Today’s blog contains extremely low vibrational energy. However, I am on a journey to heal and work through all of my experiences. There are very few things that are perplexing to me. One: I am not a fan of people who are mendacious for selfish reasons. Two: I don’t like to dwell on situations that don’t replete me. Three: I don’t always understand my forgiveness. And Four: The final thing that perplexes me is why God would ordain for someone to go through a life filled with rejection. When you are rejected you really feel impartial to believing that there is purpose for your life. If I am to be honest I know that I don’t want to feel like my own breath is against me but, how can you have hope when people only care about their excuses over their mistreatment of others. There are many situations where I have walked away depraved and I can’t even count the moments where I thought about resolving how I felt by ending my life. When people bestialize me it creates internal distress and the centralized war is defined for me as truth that some people have no compassion and are cowards so it is better to remain eschew where it is safe.

The idea of being alone feels counterfactual with my spirit. I believe that there is an alternative lesson that I can grasp. I can no longer count the times I’ve traveled back to my past relationship only to be front and back stabbed by a repeat offender. When I try to move forward alone, I survive. Eventually I start to meet new people and for reasons I can’t comprehend things will go great for the first few weeks with someone new but, as quick as reality shifts from day to-night the men I talk to end up changing or I will change. One day they no longer speak to me and ignorance is justification for how I am treated and this is something that extenuates my will to place my faith in people. If I am being honest with myself, this used to make me feel like leper.

I spoke with my mother and a friend of mine today and told them that if people are going to be egotistical then I’d rather not associate myself with them or anyone. I sometimes don’t know if I should focus on what’s detrimental to relieve all the discomfort in my heart or attempt to dismiss the idea that I am hurt by the transgressions of others. I’ve learned that ignorance is not bliss for me. I know I must think outside the box so that I can discover a way to construct fortitude by not being vindictive in the process. I’ve learned in life that if something hurts it needs to be healed. In the past I worked on weight management, I became deeply involved with religion, I tried getting to know people on an amicable level, I played lots of video games, wrote and sang my own music material, watched comedies and daydreamed liked crazy. When I write I am able to release how I am feeling most of the time. What can I do when I feel I’ve tried everything?

Let’s make one thing very clear, I trust no one and I do believe this is the genesis of why people back away from me. I comprehend that if I’ve affirmed that outer trust will never exist then I need to expect that there is an internal fragment of my trust that will be missing. Basically, I am caught in a give/get effect. My way of turning distrust around is by staying present even when I am dismissed. I will always say hello to people and communicate with them. I swear I wrestle with my spirit constantly because I know that I could be setting myself up for disappointment. In the back of my mind I know that there is a looming possibility that who I communicate with will stop talking to me. I’ve had many self-fulfilling prophecies and the thing with that is this: Anything self-fulfilled may not be 100 % true.

I’ve read everything from The Secret to The Bible, Followed Churches to Non-Denominationalism, Scrapped lyrics from Hip-Hip to Indie-Rock, & Followed You Tube Guru’s to meeting American minds who are our greatest treasures and I’ve collected thus far is that there will be times when we won’t have all of the answers. Desperation brought me to my knees and I will have to continue to endure the pain. God is present through the pain, the tiny streams I’ve cried, my disappointments, & my hopes. The answer for these tears I am certain I will reap what God has sewn in me. I will let the deflectors be part of my Alley-oop dance. I am God’s little bird. I find God while walking on the beach, hiking in Valley Green, journeying or while singing a song. These activities help me to remember that God will repay all I’ve lost.

When life becomes threatening, its ok God loves you more than you can understand. There is a universal law present in all of us. I call this presence God but, this spirit goes by many names and our own ignorance could NEVER escape this unconditional love. This love allows us to See Sunlight and keep that light even at night. Forevermore, this love permits us to connect with our inner reflections. I am 100% certain I will be speechless when my payment arrives. My advice for anyone when you are at the bottom, just keep moving. Expect to be taken advantage of, walk in love, expect more pain to come. If you shoot for the stars be prepared to have your heart-broken and finally, GIVING UP is never an option.

With all of my gratitude through God’s love, I thank you for visiting today. If you like this post and would like to leave a comment I would love it if you did so. Also, follow me on my journey and share with the links below.

Rebirth in God’s Omni-Present Love,


There’s More Work For Me Yet…

This morning I woke up feeling piously candescent. I had a very good night’s sleep. I dreamt that I was in a house that I’ve never been in before but, I felt the house belonged to me. The house had a patio that was laced with vine. The 19th century architecture was surrounded amongst grove plains and the backyard looked like an enchanted forest. There was a sea green grotto that was softened by the moonlight which illuminated its crepuscular waters with veracious youth. In front of the house there was a swing made of vines and golden flowers. A quantum leap placed me on the swing and I was wearing a dress draped in ivy with a background stitching of white and pastel pink. I started to swing up high into the clouds and then I heard a strong voice that said to me, “My work is not yet done.” I drifted backwards in the swing and as I descended the petals fell like gold ashes that burned with luster. When I got to the ground I realized that I was a shooting star, still burning bright and ready to take my dreams to the next level.

I woke up around 4 am for a brief moment, I felt relaxed and at peace. Shortly after, I fell fast back into a deep slumber so I could dream again once more. When it was time for me to get up I did with little trouble. I logged into my work computer and while logging in I felt an indescribable gratefulness in my strengthened chambers. The first words I uttered illustrated my gratefulness to God for allowing me to see another day and keeping my family safe even if we are at war. I am grateful that I can work from home and look out my window when the sun meets the north eastern skies. I love seeing the velvet compete against the warmth of the sun and if you are lucky you can see the sun chase the light away from the distant planets and far away galaxies . All of the world comes alive thanks to the gift that is our sun. I love to see beauty in a sunrise. For me this is as close as I will get to beauty for ashes every day my eyes are able to meet the horizon.

What stayed with me from my dream was when I was told, “My work is not yet done.” I think I have more self-inflicted wounds than any other experiences in my life. I used to look outside of myself for the answers to life’s questions. As a result, I was misguided most of the time because I yearned to seek wisdom in other people. The day you admit that you don’t know anything at all you can then start to find ways to navigate your life down the yellow brick road. The exploration is not easy because there are mistakes made and distress along the way. Sometimes you want to give in to darkness because certain life events makes you believe hope is an impossible feat. But when I heard that God wasn’t finished with my work in this life I knew that with the borrowed time I am on I can transform my prayers into miracles with my faith as the blueprint.

I am beginning to change the way I talk and I am beginning to learn how to trust that my guidance system will provide me with the right words to say when unbelief attacks me. I will attract others who are able to see past the brick wall experience on the dark side of the moon. I will attract everlasting fortune in honor of my family for it is by their blood that my body exists. I will continue to peruse innovative ways to love the human condition and take down all of the barriers that never allowed the living waters of life to wash over every tear and my endemic consternations. I will continue to move even when it is time for me to be stagnant in my walk. God intends for life to be abundant.

I can sit in a room and write all of my thoughts down on paper. I can sacrifice time I’ve normally invested watching television shows or playing video games. I can be single and not one guy has to like me. If I am not sought after, that’s perfect because that means the adjectives weren’t a part of my design. Predominantly, I know that the road ahead will probably result in more trials and tribulations but, I know that with the faith I have, as it continues to grow I won’t give up until my time is up. Today I stumbled with a few of my words but, I did not resign for I know I’ve progressed. I am excited to see what other challenges I will overcome. Moving ahead I am affirmed on my belief in myself. When the dark days come I am sure it will hurt like the abyss but, I know I have all that it takes to find the rising tide in the sinking sand.

Thank you so much for visiting my blog today. Like and comment on this post and if you are intrigued to read a little more about my journey check out my achieved material. Follow my journey and share with the links below. I read the book of Luke Chapter 12 & 13 yesterday. There is one thing I learned that I want to share. We will be judged for all that is seen and unseen, it’s called karma. It is not God who wages ware against the people, it is the people who wages war against themselves. Understand that the path that we create in this journey will only return back to us when its time to pay up. Life in reverse is every deed and misdeed combined that we have done. What we have done expands the energy until it starts to spiral and like a super massive black hole the mass of electrons and protons bursts out an incredible force that moves faster than the speed of light. If the force is made up of hate, anger, fear, sadness, or frustration you reap what you sow. Meditate on this for a while. From day to day I will plant the seed of truth, God has not terminated my purpose.

Live in Truth,


Masters of My Universe

Today I had an incredibly intense conversation with my mother about the hypothalamus and the pituitary gland. Basically, when these two systems malfunction the degradation of the way we operate will begin at the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus sends signals to the pituitary gland so that it can direct hormones into the bloodstream that help to regulate important parts of the body like the skin, kidney functions and our reproductive organs. The hypothalamus and the pituitary gland are that masters of the physical and spiritual parts of who we are. In many ways the duo tag team for the bodies defenses but, because we are made of love each will die in our honor. This to me means that if I accept this as is then I should turn in the keys to my spiritual freedom and my purpose. We must take responsibility of the gifts God gave us. God gave me life so that I could have it more abundantly. Today, I learned ways to benefit from a properly functioning pituitary gland and hypothalamus.

The first thing I learned was through watching a YouTube channel I follow called  Infinite Waters Diving Deep created by YouTuber Ralph Smart. Most, if not all, of his videos for positive change begin with what we eat. Ralph Smart is dedicated to physical and spiritual wellness and he advises that having a healthy plant and fruit based diet will help to cleanse your physical body. Behind the scenes the subconscious starts to accept that the foods that we are eating, when they are in a food category that is good for us, are actually helping to prolong the physical body. The nutrient-rich foods we eat also help to elevate our spiritual nature. The  hypothalamus takes in everything from the world. If your world has anything outside of the kingdom of heaven expect it to crumble. Taking in a diet rich in leafy greens, vitamins such as vitamin D, E, A, chromium and Quercetin flush toxins out of the hypothalamus and pituitary glands. I also believe in the power of the super foods Spirulina and Chlorella. Both are fresh water algae and contain complete, better than animal, protein and other nutrients such as essential fatty acids, carbohydrates, vitamins, antioxidants and fiber. The hypothalamus & pituitary gland need these vitamins and minerals to stay healthy. So, it is in our best interest to live in wealth and gain more control over the maintenance of having a healthy body.

I’ve learned that meditation can transform the state of your heart. In college I read about these Tibetan Monks who were able to control their body temperature just by meditating. A healthy hypothalamus can send life-giving information to the pituitary gland and put a whole new spin on the reality we call fever. I know I am definitely more intrigued by the way tears are formed but, that is for another blog. When we meditate we are interacting with the universe. We place our egos aside when we decide to let go and trust God. When we trust in God meditation completes the cycle of appreciation and by grace all of our earthy parts are made whole. Whenever I can I like to drive to a place where I can connect with nature. When I am surrounded by the forest of Gods love my distractions are put on pause. Through meditation I learn how to appreciate the abundance of the love gifted by God. When we meditate we heal the hypothalamus and pituitary gland. This is when we begin to open the third eye.

A few years ago I lost a lot of weight. I try my best to not focus on the past because forced focus can turn into a crutch. No one can move forward when they are too focused in the past. I am what people call plus-sized and the face of what Americans are told to accept as a reality. I don’t think we should shame anyone for being different but, when you try to force feed the masses most will choke or regurgitate different behaviors. Most of those behaviors end up hurting those who are stereo-typically different. I proudly say that I am an expert of knowing what it feels like to be rejected because people don’t understand you and you don’t even understand yourself. What I didn’t know was that my discomfort with myself was trying to teach me a lesson on how to love the life I was given. I have to eat well and exercise often. Doing so heals the two masters and I get to shed a few pounds in the process. Eating better does lead to losing weight and studies are starting to show that the hypothalamus is the true champion in weight management. Happy hypothalamus, happy life.

Today I initially started to search for what activates tear ducts. I was then guided to look up information about the functions of the pineal gland. Then I asked myself the question, what makes us cry when we are in pain? Shortly after, I found this  article online about the pituitary gland which coincidentally lead me to an article about the benefits of a healthy hypothalamus. When you knock the door really is opened for you. I believe God divinely works in our favor if we allow God to take the lead. In turn God needs us to trust that all is well, all the time. Be grateful for every heartbeat and discover ways to live well and have the opportunity to be one now with our creator. The hypothalamus controls the way our guidance system behaves and it is most exceptional that we have some control over our human GPS.

Thank you for visiting and reading my blog today. Like this post and other archived work and be open to express your intent. Follow me on my journey and share with the links below.

Become Your Own Master,


What The Little Girl Taught Me

This morning I put on the Goonies Theme song and I was immediately transported to my childhood when I closed my eyes. I felt my curious heart center come to life as the mysterious melody traveled from hemisphere to hemisphere in my brain. To titillate what I felt as a child I decided to search and listen to the theme song for The Neverending Story. It is great to remember the times I used envision myself flying off to magical lands when I was a little girl. I’ve taken explorations around the world, defeated darkness while surfing the clouds, flew on dragons and  I was an honorary Worst Witch. I had something so great in me as a child that I often don’t appreciate as an adult; I believed that anything was possible and joy would most likely be the probable outcome to any situation I had to face in this life. I had this unwavering faith that I find remarkable. I am always trying to look back and see what lessons I could teach my younger self. Now is the time for me to look forward and allow my inner child to teach me a lesson on how to live a life of pure imagination.

I can easily look back and think of ways to correct my downfalls. Like the times I gave up on singing or when I was told I wasn’t college material.  I can think of the encouraging advice I would give myself when life was difficult to process. Yes, I would encourage the little sunflower that I once was but, I have to be honest and ask, can I really? In my truth, I spend most of my time second guessing my next moves and arguing amongst myself when I need to speak freely. I hold my head downwards often and I am not always accepting when I am challenged to come out of my comfort zone which, only has room for a solitary life. I spend most of my time looking in the mirror and repetitiously pointing back at myself  with the world as my reflection telling me that love can never live inside because too much hate is focused externally. Misguided forgiveness excessively tangles itself in my heart so, I can’t accept who God created.

As I continue to connect with my inner-child I sense that 8-year-old me needs to knock some wisdom into my subconscious. Life for me at the moment is uneven. I feel like I am experiencing a million sunrises  and sunsets in less than one minute. I am spiritually uneven and I need to be cleansed. When I begin to worry about where I will be in the next five years or even the next five minutes I start to see my life moving towards the end much quicker than I would like. I start to lose hope in all of my worldly relationships including a relationship with myself. Sometimes I abhor accepting this level of truth for it is not easy to share what will ultimately be judged. For years I was told to bottle up what I felt because if I wasn’t careful someone would judge me. I nurtured this idea and as a result I suffered greatly. I endured a life of lack and limitation because I cared more about what people would think. By choosing not to live my truth I developed low self-esteem and I became the unseen, unheard, untouched broken young woman people see today.

At 8 years old Miya loved to use her imagination to compose the world around her. She created plays with her toys and allowed them to be her audience when singing at her sold out concerts. She saw bits and pieces of the nasty reality around her but, her faith never wavered. She got up everday feeling flushed with excitement because she knew that she would be venturing off to some distant fantasy in Never Never Land or A Land Called Far Away. Miya was too busy creating galaxies while the news kept preaching that the world was ending. When the virtual era crept in she took advantage and started to become a badass at playing video games. In her last year of high school something changed her fate. This fate made her who she is today. She tells me that I must remember that I came here for a purpose and to never become an old woman filled with regret. She tells me that I am the grand architect and to never let anyone roam free controlling my inner labyrinth. Loud and clear she calls for me to break free and PLAY.

When you play you start to find the joy in every experience even when you stump your toe. You may say ouch but, after the pain is over you know that all is well in your soul. I struggle with my memory and as a result I tear myself down when I have to open my mouth to speak or when I write my blogs. I create life ending scenarios and panic due to the belief that I am idiotic. By choosing to play my brain becomes this dark and twisted complexity that only I get to solve. I can grab a flashlight and clear out all of the cobwebs and infinitesimal calamitous creatures. As I move through the maze I confront my fears and make them work for me instead of against me one by one. The greatest of all, the inner workings of my mind now becomes a kingdom as I map out my life creatively. I am ready to harvest all that I’ve kept locked away.

I have been blessed because I’ve experienced equal amounts of joy and pain. Now is the time I make use of the fertilizer that was the pain I survived. If you have a story where you survive and know you live to tell it you sacrifice everything that you think you have to hold onto. With better understanding you hold on when you get love and then let go when you give it. With sacrifice there is pain but that pain should teach you to let go and continue to dream by the power of love especially when things don’t look familiar. Allow love to direct the broken pieces and know that love can never fail. Little Miya needs me to grasp that I can never leave who I was behind if my true dreams are to materialize. I was never afraid to say what I needed to say when I was younger. If I want my true voice to return the child in me must resurface so she can be cognizant in my thoughts when I write and in my actions when its time to pay it forward.

Thank you very much for reading my blog today. How many of  you connect to your inner child to create the world around you? I would love to hear your stories. I am but a young grasshopper who is eager to learn  new ways to create a more meaningful and abundant life with the time I have now. Like or comment on this post and please share with the links below. Also, if you believe in my message follow me on my journey as I venture into different territories to  live a life of joy through all of life’s experiences.

Rebirth Adolescence,



Where Would My Life Be Without Perceptive?

The idea that one day I was born into this world screaming as I came out of my mother’s womb bewilders me. I can only imagine that the reason I cried was possibly because I recognized I was a foreigner of this world. Like cattle as soon as I am free from the protection of creation I am poked and prodded. In other words, I am immunized. My parents’ guided me through the treacherous experiences of my childhood until they had to one day let go of my hand. I learned how to live primarily from my parent’s guidance. What I believe I learned best is the value of family & togetherness, friendships, joy & laughter, and faith. These are the core values that stayed with me until they were one day darkened by compromising perspectives.

The other day I was sitting in my friend’s family room watching Dancing With The Stars. I’ve never seen the show and I am certain I may never watch it again but, I saw something interesting in the voting style of shows like DWTS. Supposedly the vote is up to America but, it’s not. The votes are preordained and the judges persuade the hearts of the viewers to make this so. Perspective helps to decide who will leave the competition and who lives to fight another day. For the first time I studied the reactions of the judges by wondering what influence these judges had on the American Vote. If someone is great but, then taken down a few pegs by a judge by the power of persuasion the star dancing isn’t so great any longer. All power lies in the persuasive message. Do we really think for ourselves?

As I sat watching the horrible reality show, I began to once again observe the surroundings of my physical body. It is amazing that a square-shaped device is used to transmit signals of light and sound. Most astonishing, these signals help to create different philosophies and day in and day out we invite a myriad of sensitivities into the conscious mind. The further we grow in technology we seem to disconnect from the soul and this concerns me because we start to exemplify behaviors of headless chickens. These perspectives force us to live without even taking the time to think if the information presented resonates with our true identity. One commercial decides the contentment of the heart and I am finally bold enough to admit that I am not buying into false propaganda any longer.

When I was a child I had a teacher scold me for not keeping up with current events. I was 12 or 13 at the time but, I can remember thinking to myself that I hated the news because every story you heard was incredibly upsetting. Something in me decided long ago that I would stay away from what did not feel “good”. I had no idea at my age that I trusted my guidance system, all of the world is not bad all of the time. Agenda or not, most stories that we hear on the news seem chaotic. Then we have television shows which humanizes us in a way but, they too dehumanize us at the same time. The way I see it, TV shows, movies and music help to form behaviors and stereotypes. The human subjects are the characters illustrated before our eyes and somehow we end up relating to descriptions that are based on complete fiction.

Then I sink into the thought, who the heck am I, really? If I were to completely turn everything off would the events of the world be any less real to me? In truth the events do seem to taper off into their own existence and into their own reality. One I chose to not always accept. My greatest weakness is watching shows like Big Brother, Fear the Walking Dead, The Walking Dead, American Horror Story and Netflix cycles of shows like Parks and Rec, and The Office. To my own benefit and disadvantage I watch these shows because I feel like I can relate to every character. Even though I know the stories are not real and the people are not real, these shows bring me comfort. I experience an array of emotions from joy to fear or anger and sometimes frustration. When I am not in a positive space I turn to behaviors that will control how I feel at any given moment. That is powerful insight for me; I am gaining a better understanding of what I must do to have more control over my fate and my faith.

In closing, I must take the risk every once in a while and detach from the reality of the collective conscience. In doing so I hope I learn how to develop personal sentiments of what is factual and what is deceitful. In the now my truth is able to set me free when I began to think for myself without outside influence. I am not comfortable with complacency for another man’s ideas can lead to folly. I will not sit back and allow an intercepted reality to become my reality. God gave us all power and dominion over our paths and I will certainly use the grace of God daily in my thoughts and actions. I implore you to think of the influences perspectives have in your life. In many ways the given perceptions can help to build ambition in the human heart but, sometimes the ambition is in alignment with false light. Take a moment and really think about what I am saying.

My only suggestion, start to really live by trusting your guidance system. Trust your emotions enough to know they are there to protect and guide us toward our true purpose. Don’t tangle your understanding in lies that all of life is pre-defined and you have to conform to propaganda that may only guide you further away from trusting your instinct’s; further away from truth. Thank you very much for visiting my page today. Like this post, comment below and feel free to share with the links below. Also, follow my blog and help me to spread the word of being free in creation and shedding light in dark places.

With Gratitude,







How Can I Use My Pain?

Recently I have been thinking of ways I could use my pain to benefit me. I always feel I am under attack when I attempt to explain this self-made conspiracy against myself. I woke up in the middle of the night and began thinking of my own disappointments. When I am burdened with regret I begin the decent down into my own hell. I begin sinking into an abyss of melancholy where no one can save me. I want to avoid disappearing into my own thoughts but, I never miss the mark of following what my heart desires. My heart was conditioned to break and as if my heart was designed for pain each vessel structured into ready and willing chambers that called for the eternal colony of tears and fears.

For years my bliss involved me telling myself I wasn’t pretty or smart enough to reach all that I had hoped. As if I am in an elevator I visit the different areas of my life where I experienced much pain. I stop at the day I lost my son, on my birthday, and on the same day I lost my faith in friendships. Not one of my friends came to see me that day nor did I get any phone calls. At that point I’ve reached unforgiveness and I can only go deeper into the depths of my sadness. I began to think my loss of trust in others was inevitable and as a result I started to not care to build friendships nor have the decency to maintain them. I always thought, what was the point in maintaining relationships because people are always more than willing to give an excuse to not act in love towards their fellow-man?

Thinking this way became my norm. I couldn’t trust others and I always gave a reason for others not to trust me. I was quiet and my silence began to suffocate me with a mass of lies. The further down I go I start to believe that life is fleeting and I was blessed with a life of everlasting pain, I felt. Lying in bed around 2 am I burst into tears thinking that I would have to learn how to appreciate the life God had given me. I always believed that I had to accept that failure was my fate because I struggled with believing in myself. As a last-ditch effort I normally start to reach out to people I believe I can trust somewhat but, in the back of my mind trust would never come. At the lowest stage of my broken heart I start to feel like I am drowning and those I call out to ignore my cries for help. Perception keeps me in a pit and every time I attempt to rise from the ashes I get pulled back under as if I have no right to see life with brand new eyes.

For two weeks I have not posted anything. I have been acting as if my entire world was broken and I have to admit I felt lost. When I began this blog my intent was to find happiness. Well, happiness is one of the few emotions we get to experience in this life. Searching for happiness is like trying to find a single grain of sand, it will never be found because it is already programmed within our DNA to experience various ranges of emotion. So then, what can be done to expunge inner turmoil? The storm passing through our hearts requests for us to act according to the tune presented. Our senses are triggered by frequencies. We fulfill the emotional requirement through our thoughts and actions and like the pied piper, if we are not careful we could follow the chords blindly.

I know I have grown accustomed to embracing every emotional spectrum and in each emotion that I get to experience I realize that I lack appreciation. When something doesn’t feel good we want it to banish into the sea of forgetfulness. Like a child, I wage war against God and something that I feel I am unable to endure. Like most, happiness is the only emotion I felt was worth appreciating. After I finished crying I lie in bed thinking what I was going to do next. Do I give up on everything that I hoped for or find ways to bury the pain and rise above it all? I woke up feeling spiritually certain that I am going to start to appreciate the ripples that don’t feel so good. The grace I can take with me from pain is this: At least I am able to feel and live to tell the tale afterwards. I will condition my beliefs so that I can be grateful for everything that comes my way. The beauty in spiritual growth comes when you are able to look at the situations we must face in life and see them as something outstanding. If it hurts and I am alive then there is something remarkable I must examine when hard times arrive. I must go through hard times knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

In conclusion, we are shown different perspectives and there outcomes. Emotion is a gift and we should find ways to appreciate all we are able to experience in this life. I believe it is important for us to navigate situations that test the ego. I know that I will break again but, I will also consider ways to allow what hurts to benefit me. A perspective is an idea and I can defeat the cycle of problem, reaction, solution within my heart. I no longer want to be a slave to the things I cannot see.  Our emotions have the power to take control of every thought and remember thoughts lead to action. Before you act, consider examining how you feel first. Thank you for visiting my site today. Like this post and comment below. Also, follow by blog and follow me on the links below.

With Appreciation, Miya





In The Middle

Silence is my greatest enemy. I withhold the truth to myself that God in heaven may not hear my prayers. That isn’t the case though, I don’t think? Maybe it is? I have a mind that is able to fully understand darkness and light and in my world the balance was off scale for many years. Darkness used to always have a way of winning over light thanks to years of conditional beliefs. At the end of each sentence there lies a choice and how it ends resides in my hands. Frustration barged into the halls where I had to make the choice of right and wrong and like Sarah in the Labyrinth I made the wrong choices. Common sense only confused me. Up was down and down was up, the helping hands I chose not to trust. When I plummeted down into the den of forgotten dreams it reeked of death and the sight I was given displayed a field of dreams covered in dust. I was trapped, I felt and I could not see the forest for the trees. This idea made my goals unattainable. Whenever I am on course of living positively voices leak out through the walls and shouts in favor of my impending doom. I begin to think I am not good enough and what if people think I am crazy. When I combat my fears I began to believe that I will lead to certain destruction. The coward inside of me helps me to navigate my path and for assurance I handed off the plastic bracelet of friendship. I came to the realization that if I am to conquer my fears I would have to become my own best friend. Now that I’ve met the kindred spirit within I’ve found a way to use the darkness to help me lead back to the light. Fear was and is an element that can no longer stab me in the back. Fear is always eager to direct us off course while we attempt to reach our point of attraction. After years of racing through the adventure we call life I’ve come to a place where I shatter the glass ceiling and victory is now underway. Fear you have no power over me.

On the basis of my understanding life is an illusion we become. The systems around us are illustrated internal structures and we never fully understand all of what we think will come to pass. The desires of the heart paints out the plot of our life right before our eyes and as of yesterday I was able to see myself writing my distorted truths. Protect the heart with the forces of love and tiny black opals. Life is reduced to a stage and instead of abundance many choose madness that dates beyond medieval origins.  The child in me must live if I want to be in a creative space. With the assistance of my creator I paint into existence the princess I was as a child dancing before the Christmas tree with my nutcracker prince.  Alas, as a child my musical preference was directed towards Tchaikovsky and it made me feel elegant and free. Today I no longer miss the freedom in the magic I always possessed. Time forces me to grow up but, with certainty I will never lose my childlike spirit. I believe that I always favored the Nutcracker because the story itself was magical. Inside I yearned for my favorite childhood toy soldier to come to life to defeat the Mouse King and then I would courageously be rushed off into the magical kingdom  colonized by dolls. I was the princess in my fantasy I changed the story a little so that I could participate in the battle. I was brave and my curiosity to create was the only thing I cared about. I am surely content for bravery and curiosity has once again returned.

I shed many tears over the weekend. Every time I press the reality button I am reminded of all that “is” in the moment. I shatter every time I hear or see the horrific news reports. From rumors of war, hurricanes, murders, missing cases, racism, sexism, religious and anti-religious hatred, narcissistic Facebook posts and  the band of negativity plays on. When berated with low-frequency information I begin to feel hopeless in my own affairs. I pointed my attraction towards self-pity. After a day of wallowing I stood up to my ego. I would not settle for sinking in the swamp of sadness. My inner strength is not in tales of love and marriage the conventional way. I used to think something was wrong with me because I wasn’t fully attracted to being tied down with a baby and coming home from work or staying home to be the formidable wife. When I am in my creative space my name becomes Ever the creative dreamer and not Miya soon to be someone’s Mrs. I battled with the comparative choice because I felt that I was obligated to get married and build white picket fences. I finally accept the hand I was dealt.  I was born to be the entertainer and the thought-provoking creator of life with my own concepts.

I had to disconnect from the turmoil and trust that my guidance system would lead me to better feeling thoughts. I oblige that Choice is an illusion. Today I can sit back and observe the story I have been writing and as my thoughts transform my life follows the course of positive change. But wait, it’s not that easy because fear is very comfortable in the environment of our hearts. Where I am at the moment in my journey I am waiting before the guard dog by the Bog of Eternal Stench and I am only frightened to let go of the hell I’ve created. This is enlightening information for me. At my own request I get to forgive and permit myself access into the land where I can see the forest for the trees. Fear is a conquest already defeated if we chose to see it this way. I will not conform to the possible influence of someone else’s will. I’ve built my way back to positive points of attraction.

I carry the token of knowledge and wisdom and hold it as a torch that helps me navigate through life.

A slide-show of my crazy, sexy, and cool mind and I get to express things that are only meant for me to understand. I am a dreamer within a dreamer, a Bastian meet Atreyu fairytale. Everyday I am able to get lost in the sounds of midnight in all that will be. Life is a dream one that I get to create.

Thank you for visiting my site today. Follow my journey, comment, like this post and follow me on the links below.

Conjure Your Inner Child Always,