Confrontations, A Good Thing?

James 1:3-4 The Message (MSG)

Faith Under Pressure

2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

Confrontations invoke the fight or flight mechanism. Daily I scroll through Facebook reading various posts from family and friends. Quite often people vent using social media as a cathartic method. Even from myself there are moans and groans that pour out all the issues of life which can be too much for the heart to bear. As a result people either draw closer to God, question Him or rebuke Him. Sometimes I have to ask myself the question, “Does God even owe me anything?” The answer is, No God doesn’t. God takes a bad rep for the problems we must face. There is a river that flows out of the heart and it travels directly to the mind. Once the mind is contested with passion all power lies in what we say. Do we speak from our deceitful hearts? Or do we accept the challenge to ride the storm with courage and praise? I say we should hold our heads high and praise God through the storms because God has granted us the gift to overcome any adversity we must face in order to grow stronger in Him and walk in fullness of our purpose.

Easier said than done but, understand this: There is purpose in your problem. Whenever I am faced with a crisis I pay special attention to my reactions. How I react displays the level of my faith. It is easy to trust God when all is well but, when faced with difficulty many of us will find a hole to crawl into or we look for others to join our party of misery. There is so much power in the unseen realm. I know this is true because I consider my own weaknesses when I am faced with the issues of life. When men have been rude towards me I internalized their behavior but, what I discovered that was most interesting is that internally I mirrored their ignorance prior to the unfortunate exchange. I’ve now come to the conclusion that I did not love myself and it was God who allowed me to endure the mistreatment of others so that I could see that I was the thief of my own joy. I didn’t stop there though I began to see all of my troubles in this light so that I could better understand the level of my faith. Pandemonium can sometimes trick us into thinking that the world owes us something. I thought this way for a very long time. I tripped and stumbled as a result by blaming every person and thing outside of myself. What bothers me is this: I am not the only one and I know the solution lies in where we place our trust.

God delivers me from what I am not able to understand and I trust that He is a way maker. Whatever I must face is with a purpose to build who Christ needs me to be. Spiritual wellness comes when we trust that God has a plan. God never promised that we would not face dark moments. In fact, God ensures us we will be challenged with much adversity more so when we decide to pick up our cross and follow Christ. I pray for your encouragement through the fire because it will most certainly make you stronger and force you out of focusing solely on what you can’t control. Speak power to what you must face and get excited knowing that you have already won the battle. Also, be mindful of the tricks of the serpent. The devil will always be there to test our faith in God. Don’t let your faith fall to the wayside. Faith is there so we can grow stronger in trusting God. With earnest intentions I urge for you to smile and give thanks. Giving thanks to God combats the devil and his tricks.

Thank you for reading this post today. Follow the Happiness Project, like this post and share with the links below.

Walk by Faith and Not by Sight,

Miya

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What Servitude Means to Me

My love for God encourages my longing for others to have peace. I was marked by God but, could not see the blessings for what they were so, I assumed I was cursed with feelings of wanting to “fix” situations outside of my own life. This assumption left me with outward feelings of rejection because I did not recognize that I was the culprit. I fought my way into the goblin city and was confronted with the enemy. There by a dying tree my flesh was enslaved by the devil. I actively contested the truth of God and in the ethereal world I warred against myself. By becoming nothing under God I was able to immediately transform my thoughts, the things I said and my actions. To be humble under God is to serve others. I’ve misinterpreted this for a long time. The one true sacrifice that positively impacts our purpose is giving our lives over to God. I used to sacrifice in the name of other human being’s whom I called family and friend. I nearly killed myself for the sake of reviving greatness in someone else. Thankfully, my misinterpretations have not suppressed the many opportunities for clarity as I delve deeper into understanding the predestined maze within.

Our ego is the enemy, our ego, what I believe, is part of the devil. We are told that in the beginning of mankind our flesh longed to know the difference between good and evil and in doing so lead us all down the path of original sin. In current times Christianity isn’t lost but, there is so much confusion regarding the laws of God that it has caused people to actually move further away from the passion of wanting to individually know God and His laws. I am completely thankful to God that he continues to show me the way back to His heart. In doing so God has opened doors for me so that I can better understand where his Goodness comes from as it relates to the good works I do externally. My captivity made me trust in my good works, judge my own short-comings and condemn myself to death inwardly so that everyone I encountered would feel the weight of the world I was truly living with. My inner need for peace forced people to break away from my “brokenness” meanwhile, I dragged at their feet so I could be a companion avatar of happiness for them.

One day God tapped me on the right shoulder with his voice and said, “Child get up from this brokenness.” When I heard his voice I shuttered with fear for I knew the power that was in my masters hands. I was so afraid that I told myself I would rather play with paper dolls than obtain the better life waiting for me. Thankfully, God has shown me that I was gifted to live and until I get to my final resting place judgment over my servitude is in God’s hands. Guilt evaporates because I am no longer the faithful doormat that has to please all the people all of the time. I am liberated to pleasing only God all of the time. My good works for others are always first and foremost under the authority of my heavenly father. Words are funny because they hold all the power of what lies ahead. When words have no foundation we end up falling short. I’ve tried placing myself and others as my foundation and the kingdom within always caved. I built up my own logic and called it correct so every day I lived off of pride for, I believed I was the only one who knew what was best. I did everything in the name of Miya and not in the name of Jesus. I thank God for humbling my ways. Now I operate from his power by reading the word and praying to combat old habits that don’t belong in the next level of what God has for me. The reputation of death means that I can live anew. My willingness to serve comes from my heavenly Father of whom I live to confirm his good works in me.

Thank you for visiting my page today. Like this post, leave a comment and share with the links attached.

Stay Encouraged,

Miya

Why I am Thankful for Judgment

Why must we take baby steps when walking towards our destiny? Obtaining my heart’s content has always felt like placing my feet in crystal clear water, I can feel the healing and nearly see the correct path but, then I give up because there is an enormous rock that separates me from what I want. As if in a dream I take a chisel and try to sculpt whats below me instead of creating a way to remove the barrier indefinitely. In my life I have always looked outwardly so, like most of us I’ve been very quick to judge. I worked tirelessly to make a masterpiece of the rock below me just to discover my own judgement. I’ve crafted Pompeii and like the infamous event in history my spiritual work crumbled. I settled with ancient civilizations within myself due to fear of making life anew for the sake of saving my soul and actually achieving the deepest parts of who I am.
Like most American’s I was born of Christian faith. Being part of the African-American experience has really deepened my relationship with God. Adding personal trails into the mix solidified my union with Christ. One day I looked down below me and could see that it was only God that could remove my struggle. I accepted Christ at an early age. The first thing I felt when I truly heard His name was fear. I knew that God had the power to take me away when He was ready. My fear of God called me into wanting to know who God was. When I began the book of Genesis I saw the things God created. His word formed the heavens and the earth and it was good. God then created life and with it a special kind of man in his likeness. After I read this I was fascinated by God. I thought, “How amazing that I have a Father that gives and takes but, with forgiveness provides a solution for human sin and that solution is Jesus Christ.”
Loving God has taught me to examine myself. When I began to examine who I was I got lost in the value of having a concrete relationship with God. My self-examination nearly drove me to settle with who I was vs who God wanted me to be. I used to believe that if I wasn’t mentally adept, I was worthless. When I redefined what worthless was I became less for God and now I am able to push through habitual forces of my ego. I love that I am now in a place of only trusting God above my own understanding. To stay consistent I keep the word of God with me at all times and I know that Jesus is in my heart operating for me when I am weak. I pray often and I trust in God’s plan above my own. The creator of heaven and earth can’t go wrong because I know my fate was predestined.
Being judged by man and judging ourselves should draw us closer to God. When my mind ignites judgement towards someone else I look inside and ask for God’s correction. When I judge myself I seek God’s provisions by understanding His love for me and thanks to His love I am forgiven. God’s forgiveness helps me to exonerate my temporary perceptions of lack. We are all created by a perfect God which makes us perfectly and wonderfully made. When you want to remove obstruction consider following after the love of your creator. The heart of man wars against God so, try to remember this when testing the validity of the covenant. In the Book of Romans Chapter 7 we discover the true war that we face. Our flesh is in bondage with sin and that makes us war against the laws of God.
Thank you for visiting the happiness project and for reading my post today. This journey has allowed me to yearn for God. To be honest, I introduced this blog with alternative expectations and praise be to God through Jesus Christ I was led back into God’s warm embrace. Like this post, leave a comment and share with this links below. As I continually call for God’s judgement it is my prayer that you find peace and hold onto the true definition of love.

Blessings,

Miya

The Walk of Faith

Imagine you’ve worked for a company for 10 year’s. You’ve been in the same position not because you lacked the experience to excel to the next level but, due to other criteria’s that you may or may not have met. In life I was always told that it is not what you know it is who you know. I tripped and fell on this logic the first few years of my working experience. Due to my own insecurities I wasn’t favored by management in nearly every position I’ve had. In high school I worked at Friendly’s and my co-workers treated me as if I were someone who deserved to be kicked down and forgotten about. I was ignored and it certainly did not make me feel worthy. I can now forgive them for I didn’t understand the role I played. As I grew older my walk with Christ solidified a different course for my purpose in the workforce. In the middle of my 20’s I was introduced to the idea of walking by faith and not by sight. While I am still young I am able to walk in the fullness of His grace by trusting in what is unseen.

One day in late December 2010 my cell phone rang. I was about to go into the movies to see the IMAX version of Disney’s Tron with my cousin. I answered the phone, its Wells Fargo. I was offered a position and would start after the New Year. I was so elated that night because I was unemployed and my unemployment benefits had just run out. I remember thinking how perfect God was at that moment. When January of 2011 hit I began working at Wells as a teller. After my training I was assigned to work at the Wells Fargo location in Jenkintown, Pa. I instantly connected with the Lead teller there and we are still great friends today. One day she and a few other employee’s told me that the service manager did not know how I was selected to work there because he did not hire me. I knew who did though, it was my Heavenly Father. My first year at Wells I became one of the top tellers in the Mont Co region. I was then promoted to work in back-office handling distributions internationally. In my second year I was promoted to work in International Check Collections. One piece of information that I recall hearing from fellow co-workers is that it was highly unlikely to obtain a position in back office. I was also told that you have to know someone in order to be considered for a position with corporate.  In the back office of my mind I said, “Oh, but you don’t know the God I serve.”

After obtaining my Associate of Arts in Information Technology, I felt the need to shift my career towards something I worked very hard to get. My father was diagnosed with end-stage heart failure and from there the shift of hard times motivated me to follow what I felt was deemed right by God. I left Wells and began working for Comcast after taking a short leave to care for my father and what I can only call my own descent into suffering. On my first day at Comcast I was so happy and stricken with a feeling that I hadn’t experienced in a long while which was a, “Right time, Right place,” kind of feeling. I knew that working for Comcast was part of my destiny. Not to say I won’t always work for this wonderful company but, I understand that my path is meticulously crafted by God. As God seeks my heart I can feel a different kind of calling towards greener pastures. I credit this calling to my faith.

In my walk of faith I have stumbled many times but thankfully, it is God who orchestrates my life. God knew that one day I would say, “Yes Lord, have your way.” I have tried to live life according to my understanding for over 20 years and after all the dust had settled God was all that was left and I am happy to see that light by knowing God is all that I need. As a woman of faith I know God was not dismayed by me being lost in the wilderness. What has kept me progressing towards spiritually higher places was my faith through the love of Jesus Christ. The reason I hold my head high today is because I am confident in the covenant made by God that he became man to sacrifice His life for our sins. The word sin is not a dirty word, it only means the fall of man. The fall of man is linked to the feelings that arise when love is not in the midst. God’s love offers a forgiveness that encourages me to trust the covenant over my own understanding and work far beyond my will so that HIS will is the only thing that is done. Ladies and Gentleman I encourage you to reap the benefits of walking by faith and not by sight.

Thank you for visiting my page today. I hope this message will be able to encourage anyone that may be struggling with the subject of faith. It is natural to question God but, when you submit yourself as a student under God the spiritual disciplines will help you seek first the kingdom of heaven and His righteousness (ref. Matthew 6:33 NIV).  When you do this your new walk will be the evidence of all you cannot see. Deep down you’ll have this feeling that God is just and because of this whom shall you fear? Like this post and check out other Happiness Project archived blogs, comment below, follow me on my journey and share with the links attached.

Walk By Faith,

Miya

Will You Walk Through the Fire?

You are free once you release the giants in your mind. You never realize the beasts that are roaming free controlling your every thought until you try at something you love. Personally I love to write and sing. I also love to take ownership of new challenges. I am not a novice when it comes to maximizing the rewards of my life experiences. Every moment I was able to forgive I rewarded myself with key points to understand those I interact with daily. Those key points allow me to instantly love everyone I meet and the love I carry comes directly from the seeds of Jesus Christ. Like a stolen secret, I kept the things I loved locked inside of me. I chose the path of least resistant because I feared the outside world would not accept me.

Last night I went to bible study and surprisingly enough I went on the night of Baptism. God’s ways are unpredictable for when I arrived at the church and saw the title of the sermon, “A Different Kind of Fire”, I instantly knew that there would indeed be a message that was destined to sink into my heart to help carry me through every dark encounter. I have been a woman of weak faith up until the day I was baptized. Last night’s experience ran full circle to match the current level of my faith. As I watched many members be baptized one by one I felt like I too was dipped into the holy water with them. Every time I endure the fire it is Jesus who pulls me deep into the waters of God. That said, I am no longer afraid to be consumed because the flames I have are made of everlasting love. If something or someone is not for me then it will be removed or it will not happen; I am in firm agreement with this.

One of my dear friends is in Ministry and from afar I’ve always marveled the power of God in her life. To hear her powerful voice speak over the microphone confirmed a new level of faith I have been owning recently. After my baptism in 2005 I knew, thanks to Gods warning, that my son would be carried back to God. For one week I laid up in a hospital bed at Pennsylvania Hospital knowing that I would lose him. In the early morning hours of my birthday God told me that it was time. From the moment I was baptized I had read up to Micah in the bible at that time and for that reason I named my son Micah. Interestingly enough Micah’s prophecies were directed towards the people of Jerusalem and one of his prophecies revealed that the Messiah would be born in the town of Bethlehem.  Naming my son Micah for me, meant that Jesus would be present at times when I don’t always feel him near.

As I gave birth to my son all I could hear was “You Survived” by James Fortune and Fiya. God speaks in the present and I want people to know that whatever you are going through all is well now. You can cry and ask why to God but, that level of faith will never allow you to accept that the fire is good for you. I play video games frequently and one of my vintage fav’s is Mario. When Mario collects the super star it makes him invincible and if you defeat many enemy’s you gain an extra life, a 1 up. The love of God makes me invincible. I speak power for anyone that has trouble believing that there are no weapons that are formed against you that will prosper. The struggle is over you just have to believe that what does not kill you will only make you stronger. I testify from my own experience that there is purpose in your situation. If something hurts let it because we are purposed for greatness!

Thank you for visiting and reading this blog and all other entries. I want to get this message out to anyone who is having trouble dealing with situations that weigh heavily on the heart. I want you to know that all is well NOW, you must speak whatever you desire into existence. Consider celebrating the hard times because the person on the other side of the fence is you. I declare in Jesus name that you have won the battle, please learn to react triumphantly. Like this post, leave your comments, follow The Happiness Project and share with the links below.

Walk Through the Fire,

Miya

Once Upon a Time, My Journey

Growing up I was always unsure of who I was and my place in the world. I did more than second guess my choices I sat back and allowed my life to follow a destructive path and for quite some time I called my actions love. I marveled the lives of other people like a child full of excitement outside of a department store’s Christmas display and like the most unlikely child I “Just knew” that I would never have a life of prosperity. I am thankful for new sight because I now understand that the outcome of what I can see comes directly from my heart. My heart has truly been a lonely hunter for so long that I began to believe that I was part of a race that God rejected. I lived in tune with the vibration I thought was my destiny. The friends I had or lack thereof taught me about the inner conditions of my world. My story continues today not by ending with my challenges but, by me proving to myself that it is God’s forgiveness which, has conquered all, that I am meant to see ALL that does not sit right with my spiritual being.

Once upon a time, I always loved hearing that at the beginning of a fairytale. I was always eager to read what challenges the main character would have to face and the perseverance that kept the resolution alive in their hearts. Life is a dream, I can say this proudly at 37 and it is up to us to remember that when all hope is lost that our dreams will never fade. Throughout every experience I told myself that I was never good enough until the day I realized by God’s design that the devil was already conquered. I am now able to appreciate the negative information given to me. Whatever I can see can and will be conquered if and when there is discord in my heart. My story does not end with a negative thought, it prospers as a congratulatory notification welcoming me to my next level.

The happily ever after in my story is what sums up everything I fight through to reach my fullest potential. My happily ever after resides in the actions I take to defeat indifference. Credit to my cousin, my mentor, for teaching me that every negative thought should be addressed and when addressed we should know that we have the right to make the choice on what controls us. I love being able to feel forgiveness when I was not able to comprehend the smudge on my lenses. I dust off the lies and see the truth with a brand new understanding that God’s gift was so that we could ALWAYS live an abundant life. I wake up every morning feeling blessed because the world has a different shade of possibilities for me and it is my prayer that everyone could be able to feel the same if not better!

Thank you for visiting my blog today. I want to know your Once Upon A Time story to discuss our experiences so that we can all move toward finding joy through all situations.  Please share your thoughts, like this post and share using the links below. Also, follow me on this journey so together we can make a difference!

Live Freely,

Miya

The Day I Learned to Walk by Faith

Has there ever been a time in your life when the world around you went completely dark and all you could see were the horrible results of the issues of your heart? The other night this happened to me. I couldn’t sleep at all because my mind was racing like an engine. I kept thinking about the book that I have been working on and then I thought about the possibility of my dreams never coming into existence. Though I was in the dark, my mind seemed to highlight where I am spiritually. I grasped a deeper meaning from the world within as it pertains to what I can visually account for. The credit I can withdraw from this awakening is appreciation for being able to understand faith more profoundly.  In Hebrews 11:1 we are given wise counsel for our lives: Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.

When asked what do you see, what are the first words that come into your mind? For me and all human life forms that answer would be the landscape of what we can view with our eyes. To briefly explain I will add what I can see at this very moment while I am typing. First, I see the computer I am typing on and second I can gaze out of my window. Earlier this morning the clouds were dark and ominous like in an old black and white horror film. Rain was pouring down and after a while the condensation continued its travels across the northern sky. After an hour passed peace was once again restored for the sun is now shining and the sky is promisingly blue. My vision prophesied to me the truth of what life is to every being on the planet. In life storms will roll in and certain storms have a direct path of destruction but, one thing is certain storms fade away and whatever was destroyed can and will be renewed once more.

Our eyes don’t deceive us because our eyes tell the truth about the internal conditions of our heart as it pertains to the level of our faith. If your heart is filled with unforgiveness be prepared to have a life where your exterior will carry the spirit of unforgiveness through your experiences with others and even self-reflective unforgiveness. This works in the same manner for anger, lust, vanity, and love. God is a God of order so when you live with any indifference outside of Gods ordinance be prepared to pay a heavy price.  For a very long time I did not understand this but, I am thankful to God that I can see with brand new eyes that what I can see tells me more about the battle I am fighting within. Defiance separates us from discipline and we will never reach our greatest potential with lack of self-control. We can choose to accept that our lives are under a Rulers hands that shows us mercy when we make the choice to accept His will for our lives or we can follow the laws of the flesh. From what I’ve collected through the word of God and personal experience, the wages of the flesh lead to sin and sin leads to death.

I am not certain if anyone else can live knowing that level of responsibility and continue to ignore the calling of the will of our Maker. I know that for me, God’s words have been in my heart since I was a little girl. I feared God as I should and through personal trials and tribulations I learned to trust in the Lord and to defend His Name. Jehovah Jireh is what I have learned throughout my life and I pray that whomever this message is meant to touch may the truth be written on their hearts today. Thank you Lord for using me and leading me into my calling. I thank and appreciate all who have read my entry today. Let’s start a discussion on what our surroundings are and how it may relate to how one may feel internally. Like this post, follow the Happiness Project and share with the links attached.

Live by Faith,

Miya

My Time is Mine to Manage

Yesterday I spoke to my inspiring and amazing cousin about how I’ve felt over the years about her. I honestly had to admit that for years I was jealous because I did not have the same opportunities and she was always highly favored by my Aunts and Uncles. For much of my time here on earth I was enslaved with feelings of inadequacy and the outlet for how I felt towards those whom I believed were blessed and loved by God misguided me towards my own self-hatred. From the outside you can look at someone else’s situation and believe that they have the easy life. That belief transformed into so many internal weaknesses throughout my years that I did not recognize the relationships that were impacted by my brokenness. A broken foundation has shown me many things and today I want to talk about Time Management.

I love video games, more so, I love the type of  games which are action packed and permeated with clues. Final Fantasy VII and the first Resident Evil  were the first two games that I’ve ever played which helped me to use my problem solving and time management skills. I love puzzles with clues that you have to courageously investigate to propel the character to the next level where the challenges for the main character elevate from level to level and ultimately impacts their skills. What makes me an effective role-playing gamer is my desire to resolve conflict. Role playing games help you to manage your time. A great RPG  will include tasks which are time sensitive. With much appreciation to my cousin I have downloaded an app that helps me to be accountable for my time. In the past I’ve run into challenges which were difficult for me and because I did not find ways to be accountable for my time I wasted them by applying the “Woe is me” effect throughout every area of my life.

Not wanting to be a manipulator, I had to admit that I was responsible for how I felt about my life. I blamed others for thoughts of my own limitations because I believed that everyone spoke negatively when they saw my face or knew a minuscule amount of information about the deeds I’ve done in the dark. I can’t alter how I’ve felt in the past but, I can immediately take charge for my future by acknowledging my shortcomings. I long to live a full life regardless of the mistakes I’ve made and I believe the past has formed its own definition for a reason. After I’ve forgiven all discomforts I was able to move forward and assign my time appropriately. I’ve learned from failure that time is something that I have control of separate from the end of my time here on earth. Once again, thanks to my cousin accountability is enjoyable for me.

Our time is all we have and when we divide the minutes, seconds, and hours we are confronted with the truth of the importance of time. Time is the ultimate figure in our lives that we can see the immediate results of when we look at ourselves in the mirror or see the outer reflections of those who surround us. By developing daily schedules I discipline myself so that when I am faced with any difficulty I can overcome them by being accountable for my time. In my truth practicing accountability is new to me but, before I approached this practice I knew that I was in desperate need of discipline. I am thankful and grateful for providing explanations to myself for how I spend my time. Thanks to my cousins advisement I am no longer overruled by defeat for, defeat is only an opportunity for us to make amends with failure. Failure is a superficial word so we always have the opportunity to turn our circumstances around to make our prospective futures brighter.

Thank you for reading my blog today. Like this post, comment below and share with the links attached. If you are in agreement with my cause to unify happiness please follow me on my journey.

Be Accountable Always,

Miya

In My Dining Room

In a wicker basket chair my grandmother is seated in a painted picture frame overlooking the dining room. A place where all family gatherings should take place. The current state of the dining room is in grave danger. It now collects dust from the familial functions that once took place every thanksgiving and there are only shadows left from the gifts that were once passed along the dining room table. The spirit of love has a home and for me that home was always when I was surrounded by an abundance of God’s blessings through the art of sharing great cuisine. I can smell the stuffing and turkey now when I collect every memory of what once was sacred. How do I bring back the importance of my foundation? I listen to my grand mother’s voice in my head and she proclaims, “You must continue the tradition of lighting up the place where we bow our heads and give all thanks to God.”

A mission starts beyond any word I could say, it must begin with an action. My first act as the bearer of this responsibility is to remind myself of its importance. From my words I will begin the gathering for my family and friends to join me every Sunday in efforts to bring back the cornerstone of my ancestors. Before my grand mother passed she requested from God that  she wanted her entire family to be present. She wanted a huge dinner so everyone could remember the importance of the spirit of togetherness. God granted her request and I swear on my own life that she was ordained to be one of God’s Angels. God marked a covenant with her that my family should pay close attention to for it states the strength of who we are and how we can powerfully impact the lives of those around us be it family or friend. Nothing harmful can remain through this covenant. I was blessed to see the truth of a promise God made with my grand mother and that truth is by seeing the image of true light that does not blind the naked eye.

I don’t always understand why I was chosen to see the things  I’ve seen in this life but, there is one thing that is certain the vitality of my foundation is in the demands of a promise made long ago. I remember when the movie Soul Food premiered. With a different tale of love and family the part surrounding death was only the beginning for my story. I get to remain intact with a gift that was given to my family by God. I’ve always had an unconditional love for humanity and I’ve always believed that it is because I was raised to connect with those I love every Sunday and on every Holiday to share good meals and wonderful conversations. I accept and appreciate all that I am able to learn daily for it is all in Gods will that wisdom and knowledge continuously illuminate throughout my path. I thank God for my grand mother and I will continue to be living proof of her covenant with God.

Thank you so much for reading my blog today. What are some area’s in your life that strengthen you? Can you think of a person in your family that lets you know the power of who God is? Can you think of any covenant that may have to continue in you to either rebuild or continue to strengthen the foundation of your identity and maybe even the prosperity of humanity?  Like this and all other entries, comment below and please share by using the links attached to this blog.

May Your Foundation Be Fortified,

Miya

The Inner Ramblings of a 37 Year Old

Sometimes my mind moves slow, kind of like molasses. The words I have to say are thick and I get stuck sometimes because I worry about how I will sound when the words come out. I’ve learned somewhere a long time ago that we are to sacrifice for one another. I also read that in order to be a good Christian we are supposed to be submissive to one another. I believe that I have become the type of person where people see me as a gullible easy target and they easily dump their hatred on me because I am completely forgiving. Today I am 37. I was born October 17th 1980 in Philadelphia, Pa at Parkview Hospital located in the Frankfort section of Philadelphia. My dad worked there as a diagnostic technician.  I don’t remember the times when he did work because he stopped working when I was a baby. Let’s just say he worked in Hospitals when people could smoke inside of them. He used to tell me about the wild parties he and his co-workers used to have. He used to always joke around about the paraphernalia and booze they had at their parties. Growing up I saw my parents as the King and Queen of Disco.

Our basement on 11th street in the Logan section of Philly was decked out with a huge bar and a kick-ass shower. As we grew older the basement started to smell like rotting water and the house started to sink. You could see the house separating from where the kitchen and the laundry room were connected. If we did not move out of that house the back room would have been destroyed because the entire back-end of the house was sinking. As if I rewound my life back to the past before the sinking began I can see all of my fond childhood memories up until I was 12 years of age in that house. I remember dreaming of becoming a pop star in my sister’s room every time she was away at a friend’s house. I can see me and my sister raising our pet guinea pigs. I named my guinea pig after this Hispanic boy named Christopher I used to like in 1st and 2nd grade. His mother looked like Peggy Bundy and his dad was a black janitor at our school, Bernie Elementary. I once got beat up by two young boys in front of him. I was actually pretty good at handling them both until I saw Christopher. I guess I should have known then that boys/men would be a lot of trouble for me. My childhood memories are fond and sacred. Most of my spiritual life was cultivated when I was young. In fact I began reading the Bible when I was 9 so that I could understand why God took my grandmother away. I was terrified of God. It wasn’t until I was 30 that I understood what it means when it says in the word of God that Fearing the Lord is the beginning of knowledge and wisdom(Proverbs 9:10). I guess God decided to introduce knowledge and wisdom to me at a very young age. I feared God so much that it lead me to live a life of sacrifice. I used to be open to the idea of putting myself aside and never second guessing any negative consequences. God taught me how to love others but, what about love for myself? The answer is simple, God did teach me how to love myself when he gave me the passion for writing and the love of music. Also, when God created me he made me different and I see now that it is a difference worth embracing. I am not supposed to look like anyone else but me. I also love nature and I really love when I can help others. However, lately God has been telling me that I need to be selfish. I think I can remember being told this before when I started to lose control of my own thoughts back in my early 20’s. I cared more of what someone else had to say over what I had to say. My voice I kept silent for I feared that the words that flowed through my mouth would only sound imprudent. I believed that since I was never pretty then I would never matter. So, I started to pay less attention to myself.

I struggled for years with stuttering and I lived my life second guessing every word that came out of my mouth. I whole-heartedly believed that someone else would think I was ill-advised. In my life, people told me that I what I had to say was wrong and I that should learn the facts by watching the news and trusting every credible source. My political views were mine own and I had my individual take on religion and education. I was always somewhat of a rebel. I’ve always thought that loving the whole world was possible. Yes, even those who have done wrong. The bible has taught me that true judgement can only come from God though we all individually have the power to discern the spirits. Now at 37, I see clearly that LOVE is what will solve every issue on this planet but, it is not up to us to decide which way the wind blows. It is up to us to decide which forces we want to align. Work under the forces of dark or be used by the power light; this is our daily choice. Sometimes life is unexpected. What happens is not important. Our future is measured by the actions we take today and I am happy that I’ve learned that it begins with what I think. I lived my life from 26-36 believing that I could manage my life without God. God showed himself in between through all of my hardships but, I wanted to think that I had the power to maintain who I was. I was sorely mistaken but, with Gods infinite wisdom he has forgiven me. I feel his love radiate throughout my thoughts every time I decide to write a poem, a song, or when I blog.

You can fall a million times and God will always be open to forgive you. This morning I said a prayer to ask God to move heavily on my mind so that I can learn to forgive myself. I am extremely apologetic when I don’t have the right words to say or if, when compared to others, I lack attraction. I truly don’t believe that God allowed me to make it to 37 to be comfortable with believing that I am to be a failure. With all the wrong I have done I know that somewhere I was able to implement diligence in my walk. More than ever I care what I have to say and my story will be told through my perspective. I began this blog thinking of my family because they are my foundation aside from God. When my childhood home was demolished my childhood stories went down with the house. I once believed that when a home was gone so were all of its stories but, I am happy that is not the case. When my family moved to a new section in the city I thought I had lost the feeling of being a dreamer. Where the sun can’t shine there is only a shadow blocking its trajectory. I realized that even though my home on 11th street was no longer standing any new home after is built upon the same structure. When I connect every home I’ve ever lived in my story has a flow that only myself and God can comprehend.

I am grateful to make it to 37. I understand that though my life has taken many turns away from grace I had to hit rock bottom to be pulled back into Gods warm embrace. In the end I can say with confidence that life is a mellifluous melody and when the tune sounds drastic it is important to not lose faith in God. For those who don’t believe in God, I believe for you that there is a higher power that will help you weather the storms in life. There is nothing we can do to stop a storm but, we can monitor our reactions through them. Thank you for listening to this 37 year olds ramblings today. I am truly grateful to have an opinion of my life up until this point and I pray that I have many more life lessons to add as I learn to selfishly love myself. Happy Birthday to me, by God’s grace I am wonderfully made.

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Learn to Play and be Happy,

Miya