Day 13 Battle of the Ex

                In moments of weakness we often visit a part of the past that will not positively serve us. Yesterday I did not have one of those moments but, I did reflect on moments I shared with my ex. Every good deed collaborated with his truth hidden behind perpetual lies. Time is occupied with moments we share with others. I can remember holding his son and going places with his children. I would always feel out of place. One of those moments I knew without a doubt that being a surrogate mother was not the life for me. Being with him and his children was never a good fit. I used to feel heartbroken when I thought of all the good times I did share with this man and his children. However, yesterday I was set free from the battle of my ex.
            Countless times we are driven into a freight train disaster in our past. Every time my ex and I lost sync in our timeline we always repeated the cycle called indefinite destruction. My ex was verbally abusive and it sometimes did get physical. Towards the end I started to record arguments he created so that I would remember to never go back to him when it was over. I have this one recording where he was recording me crying and he told me to get out of his house. He did this so he could show the mother of his youngest child that I was crazy. This man called me weak, pathetic, ugly Betty, a dumbass, said I was too fat to sleep with and the abuse continued.
In the past when it was over I would recover but, like an addict, I would always go back. There were certain elements that made me go back to him. He was the perfect drug and definitely, like all drugs, he was no good for me. Without him being in my life I finished college, I took care of my mind, body and spirit, and more so, I was happy. Every time I went back to him I now realize I was only fake happy. The final bitter end required friends that would help pull me out from darkness. Those friends that I am speaking of truly have no idea how their light was what saved me from snuffing out the light in me. The friends I speak of will gratefully read this blog and I thank them for this deed.
I told a friend once that I wanted to be single because I did not want to hurt anyone. If I could revisit that conversation I’d tell them that I used to be the type of person that didn’t want to get involved in relationships because I did not want to hurt anyone by going back to my ex. The battle is over and I have won. Currently, without a doubt I know I will be with someone who will meet me where I am. I would never go back to my past because I know that I am energetically one with a higher frequency. I understand that I don’t need to manipulate who I am to be less than I am supposed to be any longer. The next guy I fall for will match my vibration. I won’t have to change who I am because the man to be and I would be the perfect combination.
The lesson I attempted to teach was that you don’t to have keep going back to the same person who is no good for you. I went back with hopes to correct the hurt I lived with each time he said goodbye. It is vital to never go back for the sake of happiness. Light can never reach sealed doors. Just know that each time the door is sealed you are the light and you are meant for more than in a past relationship you can’t reach. To know you are healed you will see the same elements in people who could only be rebounds and like your past they too are sealed doors. I thank all of my readings for connecting with me today. We must do all we can to save happiness.
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Until next time,
Miya
 

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