I used to believe that loving who I am meant that I had to love everything on the outside. Growing up little girls, not unlike older women, were categorized and judged. This same issue continues in the present day. If you didn’t have fair skin, long hair, or worse if you looked like you did not have enough money to buy the highest costing propaganda you were shunned from your peers and maybe even some family members. Imagine growing up only to have people dismiss you just because you don’t have what they are looking for in a friend; the exterior was all that mattered. I know I am not the only one who experienced this level of treatment. Self-love is one of the greatest challenges in life. Unfortunately, there is no accurate manual on the issue. I’d like to provide my input on what matters on the journey of self-love.
I have been called probably every name in the book. Some people still judge me based off what they see. For a very long time this bothered me. When I was younger I used to stay in my room and hide away from the world. The older I got, the more emo I became. The escape for me was always singing and writing. My stuffed animals were probably a better comfort for me then my environment. My parents would tell me that I was beautiful but, more people that I didn’t know would say I was ugly or scary. Those types of definitions hurt me for a very long time. I am still working through self-love. The good thing is I don’t have to stay stuck on what I accepted from pubescence to adulthood.
My first actions were to recognize the so called flaws. When people would talk about my nose and my gap. I used to try to find ways to never show my face. Staying in the room helped but, then I built relationships with my peers. We were all a small group of misfits. My childhood friends suffered through what I would suffer with, low self-esteem and no self-worth. We connected due to commonality and without them I would never have found a way to hold on to life while experiencing the issues of it. As we got older we drifted apart to begin our own explorations in life separate from one another. That separation was a blessing in disguise. When we went our own way it was time to discover who we are to become in this world. The cushion is removed and if you can withstand the heat of the world you will learn to stand firm.
In order to love me I had to love my flaws and escape the perspective definition of a flaw in this realm. I learned that some of the things people say would be something I would have to climb over for they are nothing but gigantic titanium walls. While walking down the street or at work, anywhere, I’ve learned that holding your head high while concentrating on your strengths helps with the process. When I see myself in the mirror I can see the light shine from the inside out so, that makes me flawless at all times. The things I like about me are able to supersede the negative. Self-love is a process in which I am working through. It would be nice to master the art of self-appreciation. That is why what I talk about is so important.
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in this process to discovering happiness is that confidence bears no weight in judgment. The next time you encounter someone pay attention to your thoughts concerning the individual. What you think of the person is often a reflection of what you see in yourself. If you pay attention to the exterior, you will understand that’s how you judge yourself. When it’s the interior we will either judge fairly or hold a grudge. When you hold a grudge you are holding it against yourself. The nature of as above, so below is heavily implied when facing the battle of self-love. Remember that you are the primary creator in all your paths so, never waste time on what will not make you stronger. Learning to love yourself is the greatest strength in life. Open your eyes with me and share your thoughts on what you think of self-love. Thanks for reading!
Miya C. Price