Better Life

This morning when I woke up I was full of energy and happiness. I rolled over to take a look at my phone as I always do. Saw notifications that had some Instagram likes, sometimes dopamine has a way of waking me up. I never check for missed calls or messages anymore. It’s not that I don’t care. I am just trying to wean myself off the need to touch my cellular device. I rolled over facing my window. The sun was starting to rise by then. With nothing to see but the light gleaming through my blinds I rolled over again.
Now I am thinking about my ex. As I can remember I could hear the conversations of my negative experiences with him. He would say, “Miya, no more overnight company” or “Miya, having sex with you is just too much, you’re just too big”. Then I thought to myself, why did I ever date such a jerk and more importantly, why did I go back so many times over the past 10 years? These questions plagued my mind briefly until I began to think about the better life waiting for me. Often it takes a fantasy to pull me out of the darkness. When no one else is around I am left to encourage myself. I want to talk about the possibilities of a better life.
I don’t quite know where this phrase comes from but, some people would rather stay in a known hell than to take a risk leading to an unknown future. We are all guilty of blocking our blessings. We take what we get roll the dice and it’s either a hit or miss. I stayed in a poisonous relationship off and on because I didn’t think I could get anything better. Every guy I like, I believed would never look at me or even think twice of what I could offer. I say to myself that I am amazing but, when I like someone, in my mind I am never good enough. I quit chasing my dreams of being a writer and a singer based off the same notions. I saw the brick wall and allowed all of my fears of the unknown to stop me.
Last week I researched different ways to maintain happiness in any condition. One axiom that struck me the most was facing your fears. I actually took several days to think of what facing a fear meant to me. Some fears are obvious to us but, there are some deep rooted fears that we have conditioned ourselves to accept. Like throwing cards onto a table, I began to jot down everything I was afraid. The dominant fears were loneliness and the connection lead me back into the arms fearlessly into the past. I have healed because this morning I was able to think of all of my exes convictions he held against me.
I wrote about the battle of the ex in another blog. I am happy to declare my freedom from wanting to be with someone who never made me happy. He and I were like oil and vinegar. I belittled my personal being to be with what I thought I was worth. With my ex it always felt like the world was moving backwards. Now that I am free I am able to look forward. A better today leads to a better tomorrow. I am the type of woman who is always open to new experiences. It feels good knowing that my ex is no longer an afterthought as he was in the past. I am free from waiting for a better life because my better life is now. I can look at my future possibilities and become overwhelmed with joy.
What known hell have you decided to stay in? I want my readers to ask themselves this question. Also ask if the known hell is serving you. Try to create a list of all your fears and next to those fears add all the alternative possibilities of a better life from conquering those fears. If it’s a guy or girl you like, go for it. Rejection is a blessing hidden to better understanding the direction you have chosen to take. I can think of all the guys that have rejected me and now when I look back I know that I was better off without them. Those men I liked were nothing what I thought and the more I love myself the more I am able to see a better future filled with infinite and amazing possibilities.
Thank you to all who follow this blog. Please leave a comment and press like if you are in agreement with my vibes. Also, share with the links below. I hope that you all prosper on the direction to the better life that is waiting for all us all.
 
 

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