There’s More Work For Me Yet…

This morning I woke up feeling piously candescent. I had a very good night’s sleep. I dreamt that I was in a house that I’ve never been in before but, I felt the house belonged to me. The house had a patio that was laced with vine. The 19th century architecture was surrounded amongst grove plains and the backyard looked like an enchanted forest. There was a sea green grotto that was softened by the moonlight which illuminated its crepuscular waters with veracious youth. In front of the house there was a swing made of vines and golden flowers. A quantum leap placed me on the swing and I was wearing a dress draped in ivy with a background stitching of white and pastel pink. I started to swing up high into the clouds and then I heard a strong voice that said to me, “My work is not yet done.” I drifted backwards in the swing and as I descended the petals fell like gold ashes that burned with luster. When I got to the ground I realized that I was a shooting star, still burning bright and ready to take my dreams to the next level.

I woke up around 4 am for a brief moment, I felt relaxed and at peace. Shortly after, I fell fast back into a deep slumber so I could dream again once more. When it was time for me to get up I did with little trouble. I logged into my work computer and while logging in I felt an indescribable gratefulness in my strengthened chambers. The first words I uttered illustrated my gratefulness to God for allowing me to see another day and keeping my family safe even if we are at war. I am grateful that I can work from home and look out my window when the sun meets the north eastern skies. I love seeing the velvet compete against the warmth of the sun and if you are lucky you can see the sun chase the light away from the distant planets and far away galaxies . All of the world comes alive thanks to the gift that is our sun. I love to see beauty in a sunrise. For me this is as close as I will get to beauty for ashes every day my eyes are able to meet the horizon.

What stayed with me from my dream was when I was told, “My work is not yet done.” I think I have more self-inflicted wounds than any other experiences in my life. I used to look outside of myself for the answers to life’s questions. As a result, I was misguided most of the time because I yearned to seek wisdom in other people. The day you admit that you don’t know anything at all you can then start to find ways to navigate your life down the yellow brick road. The exploration is not easy because there are mistakes made and distress along the way. Sometimes you want to give in to darkness because certain life events makes you believe hope is an impossible feat. But when I heard that God wasn’t finished with my work in this life I knew that with the borrowed time I am on I can transform my prayers into miracles with my faith as the blueprint.

I am beginning to change the way I talk and I am beginning to learn how to trust that my guidance system will provide me with the right words to say when unbelief attacks me. I will attract others who are able to see past the brick wall experience on the dark side of the moon. I will attract everlasting fortune in honor of my family for it is by their blood that my body exists. I will continue to peruse innovative ways to love the human condition and take down all of the barriers that never allowed the living waters of life to wash over every tear and my endemic consternations. I will continue to move even when it is time for me to be stagnant in my walk. God intends for life to be abundant.

I can sit in a room and write all of my thoughts down on paper. I can sacrifice time I’ve normally invested watching television shows or playing video games. I can be single and not one guy has to like me. If I am not sought after, that’s perfect because that means the adjectives weren’t a part of my design. Predominantly, I know that the road ahead will probably result in more trials and tribulations but, I know that with the faith I have, as it continues to grow I won’t give up until my time is up. Today I stumbled with a few of my words but, I did not resign for I know I’ve progressed. I am excited to see what other challenges I will overcome. Moving ahead I am affirmed on my belief in myself. When the dark days come I am sure it will hurt like the abyss but, I know I have all that it takes to find the rising tide in the sinking sand.

Thank you so much for visiting my blog today. Like and comment on this post and if you are intrigued to read a little more about my journey check out my achieved material. Follow my journey and share with the links below. I read the book of Luke Chapter 12 & 13 yesterday. There is one thing I learned that I want to share. We will be judged for all that is seen and unseen, it’s called karma. It is not God who wages ware against the people, it is the people who wages war against themselves. Understand that the path that we create in this journey will only return back to us when its time to pay up. Life in reverse is every deed and misdeed combined that we have done. What we have done expands the energy until it starts to spiral and like a super massive black hole the mass of electrons and protons bursts out an incredible force that moves faster than the speed of light. If the force is made up of hate, anger, fear, sadness, or frustration you reap what you sow. Meditate on this for a while. From day to day I will plant the seed of truth, God has not terminated my purpose.

Live in Truth,

Miya

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Masters of My Universe

Today I had an incredibly intense conversation with my mother about the hypothalamus and the pituitary gland. Basically, when these two systems malfunction the degradation of the way we operate will begin at the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus sends signals to the pituitary gland so that it can direct hormones into the bloodstream that help to regulate important parts of the body like the skin, kidney functions and our reproductive organs. The hypothalamus and the pituitary gland are that masters of the physical and spiritual parts of who we are. In many ways the duo tag team for the bodies defenses but, because we are made of love each will die in our honor. This to me means that if I accept this as is then I should turn in the keys to my spiritual freedom and my purpose. We must take responsibility of the gifts God gave us. God gave me life so that I could have it more abundantly. Today, I learned ways to benefit from a properly functioning pituitary gland and hypothalamus.

The first thing I learned was through watching a YouTube channel I follow called  Infinite Waters Diving Deep created by YouTuber Ralph Smart. Most, if not all, of his videos for positive change begin with what we eat. Ralph Smart is dedicated to physical and spiritual wellness and he advises that having a healthy plant and fruit based diet will help to cleanse your physical body. Behind the scenes the subconscious starts to accept that the foods that we are eating, when they are in a food category that is good for us, are actually helping to prolong the physical body. The nutrient-rich foods we eat also help to elevate our spiritual nature. The  hypothalamus takes in everything from the world. If your world has anything outside of the kingdom of heaven expect it to crumble. Taking in a diet rich in leafy greens, vitamins such as vitamin D, E, A, chromium and Quercetin flush toxins out of the hypothalamus and pituitary glands. I also believe in the power of the super foods Spirulina and Chlorella. Both are fresh water algae and contain complete, better than animal, protein and other nutrients such as essential fatty acids, carbohydrates, vitamins, antioxidants and fiber. The hypothalamus & pituitary gland need these vitamins and minerals to stay healthy. So, it is in our best interest to live in wealth and gain more control over the maintenance of having a healthy body.

I’ve learned that meditation can transform the state of your heart. In college I read about these Tibetan Monks who were able to control their body temperature just by meditating. A healthy hypothalamus can send life-giving information to the pituitary gland and put a whole new spin on the reality we call fever. I know I am definitely more intrigued by the way tears are formed but, that is for another blog. When we meditate we are interacting with the universe. We place our egos aside when we decide to let go and trust God. When we trust in God meditation completes the cycle of appreciation and by grace all of our earthy parts are made whole. Whenever I can I like to drive to a place where I can connect with nature. When I am surrounded by the forest of Gods love my distractions are put on pause. Through meditation I learn how to appreciate the abundance of the love gifted by God. When we meditate we heal the hypothalamus and pituitary gland. This is when we begin to open the third eye.

A few years ago I lost a lot of weight. I try my best to not focus on the past because forced focus can turn into a crutch. No one can move forward when they are too focused in the past. I am what people call plus-sized and the face of what Americans are told to accept as a reality. I don’t think we should shame anyone for being different but, when you try to force feed the masses most will choke or regurgitate different behaviors. Most of those behaviors end up hurting those who are stereo-typically different. I proudly say that I am an expert of knowing what it feels like to be rejected because people don’t understand you and you don’t even understand yourself. What I didn’t know was that my discomfort with myself was trying to teach me a lesson on how to love the life I was given. I have to eat well and exercise often. Doing so heals the two masters and I get to shed a few pounds in the process. Eating better does lead to losing weight and studies are starting to show that the hypothalamus is the true champion in weight management. Happy hypothalamus, happy life.

Today I initially started to search for what activates tear ducts. I was then guided to look up information about the functions of the pineal gland. Then I asked myself the question, what makes us cry when we are in pain? Shortly after, I found this  article online about the pituitary gland which coincidentally lead me to an article about the benefits of a healthy hypothalamus. When you knock the door really is opened for you. I believe God divinely works in our favor if we allow God to take the lead. In turn God needs us to trust that all is well, all the time. Be grateful for every heartbeat and discover ways to live well and have the opportunity to be one now with our creator. The hypothalamus controls the way our guidance system behaves and it is most exceptional that we have some control over our human GPS.

Thank you for visiting and reading my blog today. Like this post and other archived work and be open to express your intent. Follow me on my journey and share with the links below.

Become Your Own Master,

Miya

What The Little Girl Taught Me

This morning I put on the Goonies Theme song and I was immediately transported to my childhood when I closed my eyes. I felt my curious heart center come to life as the mysterious melody traveled from hemisphere to hemisphere in my brain. To titillate what I felt as a child I decided to search and listen to the theme song for The Neverending Story. It is great to remember the times I used envision myself flying off to magical lands when I was a little girl. I’ve taken explorations around the world, defeated darkness while surfing the clouds, flew on dragons and  I was an honorary Worst Witch. I had something so great in me as a child that I often don’t appreciate as an adult; I believed that anything was possible and joy would most likely be the probable outcome to any situation I had to face in this life. I had this unwavering faith that I find remarkable. I am always trying to look back and see what lessons I could teach my younger self. Now is the time for me to look forward and allow my inner child to teach me a lesson on how to live a life of pure imagination.

I can easily look back and think of ways to correct my downfalls. Like the times I gave up on singing or when I was told I wasn’t college material.  I can think of the encouraging advice I would give myself when life was difficult to process. Yes, I would encourage the little sunflower that I once was but, I have to be honest and ask, can I really? In my truth, I spend most of my time second guessing my next moves and arguing amongst myself when I need to speak freely. I hold my head downwards often and I am not always accepting when I am challenged to come out of my comfort zone which, only has room for a solitary life. I spend most of my time looking in the mirror and repetitiously pointing back at myself  with the world as my reflection telling me that love can never live inside because too much hate is focused externally. Misguided forgiveness excessively tangles itself in my heart so, I can’t accept who God created.

As I continue to connect with my inner-child I sense that 8-year-old me needs to knock some wisdom into my subconscious. Life for me at the moment is uneven. I feel like I am experiencing a million sunrises  and sunsets in less than one minute. I am spiritually uneven and I need to be cleansed. When I begin to worry about where I will be in the next five years or even the next five minutes I start to see my life moving towards the end much quicker than I would like. I start to lose hope in all of my worldly relationships including a relationship with myself. Sometimes I abhor accepting this level of truth for it is not easy to share what will ultimately be judged. For years I was told to bottle up what I felt because if I wasn’t careful someone would judge me. I nurtured this idea and as a result I suffered greatly. I endured a life of lack and limitation because I cared more about what people would think. By choosing not to live my truth I developed low self-esteem and I became the unseen, unheard, untouched broken young woman people see today.

At 8 years old Miya loved to use her imagination to compose the world around her. She created plays with her toys and allowed them to be her audience when singing at her sold out concerts. She saw bits and pieces of the nasty reality around her but, her faith never wavered. She got up everday feeling flushed with excitement because she knew that she would be venturing off to some distant fantasy in Never Never Land or A Land Called Far Away. Miya was too busy creating galaxies while the news kept preaching that the world was ending. When the virtual era crept in she took advantage and started to become a badass at playing video games. In her last year of high school something changed her fate. This fate made her who she is today. She tells me that I must remember that I came here for a purpose and to never become an old woman filled with regret. She tells me that I am the grand architect and to never let anyone roam free controlling my inner labyrinth. Loud and clear she calls for me to break free and PLAY.

When you play you start to find the joy in every experience even when you stump your toe. You may say ouch but, after the pain is over you know that all is well in your soul. I struggle with my memory and as a result I tear myself down when I have to open my mouth to speak or when I write my blogs. I create life ending scenarios and panic due to the belief that I am idiotic. By choosing to play my brain becomes this dark and twisted complexity that only I get to solve. I can grab a flashlight and clear out all of the cobwebs and infinitesimal calamitous creatures. As I move through the maze I confront my fears and make them work for me instead of against me one by one. The greatest of all, the inner workings of my mind now becomes a kingdom as I map out my life creatively. I am ready to harvest all that I’ve kept locked away.

I have been blessed because I’ve experienced equal amounts of joy and pain. Now is the time I make use of the fertilizer that was the pain I survived. If you have a story where you survive and know you live to tell it you sacrifice everything that you think you have to hold onto. With better understanding you hold on when you get love and then let go when you give it. With sacrifice there is pain but that pain should teach you to let go and continue to dream by the power of love especially when things don’t look familiar. Allow love to direct the broken pieces and know that love can never fail. Little Miya needs me to grasp that I can never leave who I was behind if my true dreams are to materialize. I was never afraid to say what I needed to say when I was younger. If I want my true voice to return the child in me must resurface so she can be cognizant in my thoughts when I write and in my actions when its time to pay it forward.

Thank you very much for reading my blog today. How many of  you connect to your inner child to create the world around you? I would love to hear your stories. I am but a young grasshopper who is eager to learn  new ways to create a more meaningful and abundant life with the time I have now. Like or comment on this post and please share with the links below. Also, if you believe in my message follow me on my journey as I venture into different territories to  live a life of joy through all of life’s experiences.

Rebirth Adolescence,

Miya

 

Where Would My Life Be Without Perceptive?

The idea that one day I was born into this world screaming as I came out of my mother’s womb bewilders me. I can only imagine that the reason I cried was possibly because I recognized I was a foreigner of this world. Like cattle as soon as I am free from the protection of creation I am poked and prodded. In other words, I am immunized. My parents’ guided me through the treacherous experiences of my childhood until they had to one day let go of my hand. I learned how to live primarily from my parent’s guidance. What I believe I learned best is the value of family & togetherness, friendships, joy & laughter, and faith. These are the core values that stayed with me until they were one day darkened by compromising perspectives.

The other day I was sitting in my friend’s family room watching Dancing With The Stars. I’ve never seen the show and I am certain I may never watch it again but, I saw something interesting in the voting style of shows like DWTS. Supposedly the vote is up to America but, it’s not. The votes are preordained and the judges persuade the hearts of the viewers to make this so. Perspective helps to decide who will leave the competition and who lives to fight another day. For the first time I studied the reactions of the judges by wondering what influence these judges had on the American Vote. If someone is great but, then taken down a few pegs by a judge by the power of persuasion the star dancing isn’t so great any longer. All power lies in the persuasive message. Do we really think for ourselves?

As I sat watching the horrible reality show, I began to once again observe the surroundings of my physical body. It is amazing that a square-shaped device is used to transmit signals of light and sound. Most astonishing, these signals help to create different philosophies and day in and day out we invite a myriad of sensitivities into the conscious mind. The further we grow in technology we seem to disconnect from the soul and this concerns me because we start to exemplify behaviors of headless chickens. These perspectives force us to live without even taking the time to think if the information presented resonates with our true identity. One commercial decides the contentment of the heart and I am finally bold enough to admit that I am not buying into false propaganda any longer.

When I was a child I had a teacher scold me for not keeping up with current events. I was 12 or 13 at the time but, I can remember thinking to myself that I hated the news because every story you heard was incredibly upsetting. Something in me decided long ago that I would stay away from what did not feel “good”. I had no idea at my age that I trusted my guidance system, all of the world is not bad all of the time. Agenda or not, most stories that we hear on the news seem chaotic. Then we have television shows which humanizes us in a way but, they too dehumanize us at the same time. The way I see it, TV shows, movies and music help to form behaviors and stereotypes. The human subjects are the characters illustrated before our eyes and somehow we end up relating to descriptions that are based on complete fiction.

Then I sink into the thought, who the heck am I, really? If I were to completely turn everything off would the events of the world be any less real to me? In truth the events do seem to taper off into their own existence and into their own reality. One I chose to not always accept. My greatest weakness is watching shows like Big Brother, Fear the Walking Dead, The Walking Dead, American Horror Story and Netflix cycles of shows like Parks and Rec, and The Office. To my own benefit and disadvantage I watch these shows because I feel like I can relate to every character. Even though I know the stories are not real and the people are not real, these shows bring me comfort. I experience an array of emotions from joy to fear or anger and sometimes frustration. When I am not in a positive space I turn to behaviors that will control how I feel at any given moment. That is powerful insight for me; I am gaining a better understanding of what I must do to have more control over my fate and my faith.

In closing, I must take the risk every once in a while and detach from the reality of the collective conscience. In doing so I hope I learn how to develop personal sentiments of what is factual and what is deceitful. In the now my truth is able to set me free when I began to think for myself without outside influence. I am not comfortable with complacency for another man’s ideas can lead to folly. I will not sit back and allow an intercepted reality to become my reality. God gave us all power and dominion over our paths and I will certainly use the grace of God daily in my thoughts and actions. I implore you to think of the influences perspectives have in your life. In many ways the given perceptions can help to build ambition in the human heart but, sometimes the ambition is in alignment with false light. Take a moment and really think about what I am saying.

My only suggestion, start to really live by trusting your guidance system. Trust your emotions enough to know they are there to protect and guide us toward our true purpose. Don’t tangle your understanding in lies that all of life is pre-defined and you have to conform to propaganda that may only guide you further away from trusting your instinct’s; further away from truth. Thank you very much for visiting my page today. Like this post, comment below and feel free to share with the links below. Also, follow my blog and help me to spread the word of being free in creation and shedding light in dark places.

With Gratitude,

Miya

 

 

 

 

 

How Can I Use My Pain?

Recently I have been thinking of ways I could use my pain to benefit me. I always feel I am under attack when I attempt to explain this self-made conspiracy against myself. I woke up in the middle of the night and began thinking of my own disappointments. When I am burdened with regret I begin the decent down into my own hell. I begin sinking into an abyss of melancholy where no one can save me. I want to avoid disappearing into my own thoughts but, I never miss the mark of following what my heart desires. My heart was conditioned to break and as if my heart was designed for pain each vessel structured into ready and willing chambers that called for the eternal colony of tears and fears.

For years my bliss involved me telling myself I wasn’t pretty or smart enough to reach all that I had hoped. As if I am in an elevator I visit the different areas of my life where I experienced much pain. I stop at the day I lost my son, on my birthday, and on the same day I lost my faith in friendships. Not one of my friends came to see me that day nor did I get any phone calls. At that point I’ve reached unforgiveness and I can only go deeper into the depths of my sadness. I began to think my loss of trust in others was inevitable and as a result I started to not care to build friendships nor have the decency to maintain them. I always thought, what was the point in maintaining relationships because people are always more than willing to give an excuse to not act in love towards their fellow-man?

Thinking this way became my norm. I couldn’t trust others and I always gave a reason for others not to trust me. I was quiet and my silence began to suffocate me with a mass of lies. The further down I go I start to believe that life is fleeting and I was blessed with a life of everlasting pain, I felt. Lying in bed around 2 am I burst into tears thinking that I would have to learn how to appreciate the life God had given me. I always believed that I had to accept that failure was my fate because I struggled with believing in myself. As a last-ditch effort I normally start to reach out to people I believe I can trust somewhat but, in the back of my mind trust would never come. At the lowest stage of my broken heart I start to feel like I am drowning and those I call out to ignore my cries for help. Perception keeps me in a pit and every time I attempt to rise from the ashes I get pulled back under as if I have no right to see life with brand new eyes.

For two weeks I have not posted anything. I have been acting as if my entire world was broken and I have to admit I felt lost. When I began this blog my intent was to find happiness. Well, happiness is one of the few emotions we get to experience in this life. Searching for happiness is like trying to find a single grain of sand, it will never be found because it is already programmed within our DNA to experience various ranges of emotion. So then, what can be done to expunge inner turmoil? The storm passing through our hearts requests for us to act according to the tune presented. Our senses are triggered by frequencies. We fulfill the emotional requirement through our thoughts and actions and like the pied piper, if we are not careful we could follow the chords blindly.

I know I have grown accustomed to embracing every emotional spectrum and in each emotion that I get to experience I realize that I lack appreciation. When something doesn’t feel good we want it to banish into the sea of forgetfulness. Like a child, I wage war against God and something that I feel I am unable to endure. Like most, happiness is the only emotion I felt was worth appreciating. After I finished crying I lie in bed thinking what I was going to do next. Do I give up on everything that I hoped for or find ways to bury the pain and rise above it all? I woke up feeling spiritually certain that I am going to start to appreciate the ripples that don’t feel so good. The grace I can take with me from pain is this: At least I am able to feel and live to tell the tale afterwards. I will condition my beliefs so that I can be grateful for everything that comes my way. The beauty in spiritual growth comes when you are able to look at the situations we must face in life and see them as something outstanding. If it hurts and I am alive then there is something remarkable I must examine when hard times arrive. I must go through hard times knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

In conclusion, we are shown different perspectives and there outcomes. Emotion is a gift and we should find ways to appreciate all we are able to experience in this life. I believe it is important for us to navigate situations that test the ego. I know that I will break again but, I will also consider ways to allow what hurts to benefit me. A perspective is an idea and I can defeat the cycle of problem, reaction, solution within my heart. I no longer want to be a slave to the things I cannot see.  Our emotions have the power to take control of every thought and remember thoughts lead to action. Before you act, consider examining how you feel first. Thank you for visiting my site today. Like this post and comment below. Also, follow by blog and follow me on the links below.

With Appreciation, Miya

 

 

 

 

In The Middle

Silence is my greatest enemy. I withhold the truth to myself that God in heaven may not hear my prayers. That isn’t the case though, I don’t think? Maybe it is? I have a mind that is able to fully understand darkness and light and in my world the balance was off scale for many years. Darkness used to always have a way of winning over light thanks to years of conditional beliefs. At the end of each sentence there lies a choice and how it ends resides in my hands. Frustration barged into the halls where I had to make the choice of right and wrong and like Sarah in the Labyrinth I made the wrong choices. Common sense only confused me. Up was down and down was up, the helping hands I chose not to trust. When I plummeted down into the den of forgotten dreams it reeked of death and the sight I was given displayed a field of dreams covered in dust. I was trapped, I felt and I could not see the forest for the trees. This idea made my goals unattainable. Whenever I am on course of living positively voices leak out through the walls and shouts in favor of my impending doom. I begin to think I am not good enough and what if people think I am crazy. When I combat my fears I began to believe that I will lead to certain destruction. The coward inside of me helps me to navigate my path and for assurance I handed off the plastic bracelet of friendship. I came to the realization that if I am to conquer my fears I would have to become my own best friend. Now that I’ve met the kindred spirit within I’ve found a way to use the darkness to help me lead back to the light. Fear was and is an element that can no longer stab me in the back. Fear is always eager to direct us off course while we attempt to reach our point of attraction. After years of racing through the adventure we call life I’ve come to a place where I shatter the glass ceiling and victory is now underway. Fear you have no power over me.

On the basis of my understanding life is an illusion we become. The systems around us are illustrated internal structures and we never fully understand all of what we think will come to pass. The desires of the heart paints out the plot of our life right before our eyes and as of yesterday I was able to see myself writing my distorted truths. Protect the heart with the forces of love and tiny black opals. Life is reduced to a stage and instead of abundance many choose madness that dates beyond medieval origins.  The child in me must live if I want to be in a creative space. With the assistance of my creator I paint into existence the princess I was as a child dancing before the Christmas tree with my nutcracker prince.  Alas, as a child my musical preference was directed towards Tchaikovsky and it made me feel elegant and free. Today I no longer miss the freedom in the magic I always possessed. Time forces me to grow up but, with certainty I will never lose my childlike spirit. I believe that I always favored the Nutcracker because the story itself was magical. Inside I yearned for my favorite childhood toy soldier to come to life to defeat the Mouse King and then I would courageously be rushed off into the magical kingdom  colonized by dolls. I was the princess in my fantasy I changed the story a little so that I could participate in the battle. I was brave and my curiosity to create was the only thing I cared about. I am surely content for bravery and curiosity has once again returned.

I shed many tears over the weekend. Every time I press the reality button I am reminded of all that “is” in the moment. I shatter every time I hear or see the horrific news reports. From rumors of war, hurricanes, murders, missing cases, racism, sexism, religious and anti-religious hatred, narcissistic Facebook posts and  the band of negativity plays on. When berated with low-frequency information I begin to feel hopeless in my own affairs. I pointed my attraction towards self-pity. After a day of wallowing I stood up to my ego. I would not settle for sinking in the swamp of sadness. My inner strength is not in tales of love and marriage the conventional way. I used to think something was wrong with me because I wasn’t fully attracted to being tied down with a baby and coming home from work or staying home to be the formidable wife. When I am in my creative space my name becomes Ever the creative dreamer and not Miya soon to be someone’s Mrs. I battled with the comparative choice because I felt that I was obligated to get married and build white picket fences. I finally accept the hand I was dealt.  I was born to be the entertainer and the thought-provoking creator of life with my own concepts.

I had to disconnect from the turmoil and trust that my guidance system would lead me to better feeling thoughts. I oblige that Choice is an illusion. Today I can sit back and observe the story I have been writing and as my thoughts transform my life follows the course of positive change. But wait, it’s not that easy because fear is very comfortable in the environment of our hearts. Where I am at the moment in my journey I am waiting before the guard dog by the Bog of Eternal Stench and I am only frightened to let go of the hell I’ve created. This is enlightening information for me. At my own request I get to forgive and permit myself access into the land where I can see the forest for the trees. Fear is a conquest already defeated if we chose to see it this way. I will not conform to the possible influence of someone else’s will. I’ve built my way back to positive points of attraction.

I carry the token of knowledge and wisdom and hold it as a torch that helps me navigate through life.

A slide-show of my crazy, sexy, and cool mind and I get to express things that are only meant for me to understand. I am a dreamer within a dreamer, a Bastian meet Atreyu fairytale. Everyday I am able to get lost in the sounds of midnight in all that will be. Life is a dream one that I get to create.

Thank you for visiting my site today. Follow my journey, comment, like this post and follow me on the links below.

Conjure Your Inner Child Always,

Miya

Where I Am v Where I Want To Be

I am my own worst enemy and sometimes I look at my life and I am ashamed that I work as a Technical Support Representative, I moved back with my parents, and my bank account is struggling. Where I am now can make where I want to be feel like a worthless exertion. I have moments of motivation but, then I fall back down into a rut where I focus on the present so much that I realize I am not happy with my present. I want to be successful but, I war against my present conditions and at some point the war has to expire. So many things lead to gratitude and I know that if I can’t appreciate my present then my present conditions will always exist. We live in a society that tells us who to be at different stages in life. I used to focus on the importance of status and as a result I would cower at the slight sight of success. I gave in and told the in the moment Miya she doesn’t deserve success because she has walked the path of sin. Does it end right here? Do I roll over and die giving credit to lack and limitation? I really believe there is something more I must do.

On Monday I was listening to Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations 2 Part Podcast interview with Iyanla Vanzant and I had to hold back tears. While Iyanla was talking about her life it brought chills to my body for God has given me similar experiences. Iyanla suffered from loss, sexual abuse, and struggled with financial hardships even when she was doing better financially. Iyanla was a sinner and God still was able to use her. She changed her name to Iyanla Vanzant because she felt that Rhonda Harris, the name she was born with, had died. She reinvented herself so she could let go of all of the hurt and pain. She discovered that as she focused on her history her circumstances never improved. Iyanla had to build up the spirit of gratefulness and it was her gratefulness that lead her to abundance. Her story helped me to fully accept that God is not finished with me.

Some days I feel sorry for the life I have lived. I’ve told my story so many times and lately I’ve grown tired of repeating the same old tune. I want to have freedom in my life. I look on Social Media and see people going on really extravagant trips around the world and when I view my life in comparison I want to give up. I thought that it didn’t matter what I did I would never amount to anything. When I began this blog I was hoping that my friends and family would join me on this journey to help me build up something I love. I am saddened by all of the excuses I’ve heard. I thought that it was me so, I put myself down as I always have done. I thought maybe it was because I didn’t have my own place any longer, I didn’t have a glamorous job to speak proudly of and since I had nothing I could never teach someone else how to NOT make the same fatal mistakes I’ve made. How could I? I didn’t have a lot of possessions and I couldn’t afford to go on trips around the world. I definitely didn’t have a host of friends that I could say I was dearly close to. When I met new acquaintances the friendship lasted only for a little while and then we drifted apart. I’ve repeated the same tune and I can’t even disclose how long its been.

Some people have said that I am getting what I deserve but, if God is forgiving then the notion of payback would not amount to anything. When one sheep goes missing the shepherd will go back to search for the missing sheep. I think “payback” has more to do with the unwillingness to forgive ourselves. People can have all of the opinions they desire about our lives but, their opinion comes from the human understanding of forgiveness. God operates in ways the conditional mind could never comprehend. So then, I must lean on the forgiveness of my creator which gives me the power to fully forgive myself. I know the patterns of my life have hurt a lot of people and I do ask for forgiveness. I also accept all who have chosen not to forgive me. I once lived my life according to the forgiveness of other human beings. I used to walk around with my head down and I felt sorry for myself. I thought that regardless of my status I would still be an outcast unworthy of friendships and the feeling of togetherness. I gathered every condition in my past and I allowed my past to guide my present. I have been caught in the middle of disgrace and gratitude and recognized that I needed to make a choice. Today I choose gratitude to direct my paths.

Have you ever searched high and low for something and discovered what you were searching for was obviously right in front of you? Gratitude is like that for me. I tried to live a righteous path and I went straight to hell. On the other hand, I decided hell was the best I could get so I did nothing, all the while something was calling me upwards out of the darkness every time I tried to give up. My love for writing and singing calls for me to see my hopes and dreams despite my present. The present will always change when you focus on better days and there is no compromise. Once I fully accepted that I needed to see success in the now my life began to change for the better. There are ideas led by the pages of death and people who must stay in the past and when I refuse to do so I know that my present conditions will move at the pace of my beliefs. I get to start over just like Iyanla and be used and guided by my heavenly creator.

The first thing we should do when we open our eyes from slumber is give thanks to the universe. Be thankful that you are given ideas to change your life for the better. Be grateful for all the joy that is to come and the struggle too because it will only make you stronger. Where I am depends on what weighs in my heart. I will be successful because I already am. I get inspired every day to speak on different topics that pop in my head. And regardless of judgment, I eagerly post on my blog as often as I can. I work behind the scenes on the creative genius of the universe and by the spirit of God my ego no longer has a hold on me. Great works of art take time, they certainly don’t spring up overnight. Timeless pieces last forever and I believe that my spirit is infinite and defeats the will of my ego.

I thank you for visiting my blog today. If this message is able to reach one heart this blog would serve its purpose. I am here to preach and teach about what I have learned and will continue to learn throughout my journey of happiness. Try to remember that where you are now starts from your perspective. If you think that you are hopeless, then hopeless you will be. Likewise; if you think you are abundant than abundant you will be. Where you want to be always is in the present focusing on the joy from each life experience. Embrace the past by knowing that it was there to build your character and today is the day to take control of your life. Know this one thing is true: No one can change your life but you. You are the hero in your story don’t allow anything or anyone to take away your greatness. Furthermore, I will let you in on a little secret; No one has to power to make or break you anyway. I believe that we can feel the frequencies of discord in others and remember you can only manage you’re your heart. Change your mind and you will change your world.

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Caught between Love and Conditions

There was once a time in my world where I used to believe that true love was being kissed by a prince and then awakening from a curse of deep slumber. To dive in a little deeper I believed that a man would save me from some unknown enemy and the gift he would give would be his undying love and without his love I would be ruined. I think there are millions women who might have believed love was the same as my former definition. I also believed that other women would only be a threat to that love. A few years ago I remember talking to a friend about what I call the Disney Princess Curse. This is a curse that all young girls are subjected to by watching movies like Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. I admire Walt Disney for creating these films but, it is time to detangle the web of lies. Little girls become women who seek after the same childhood fantasies and I’m sorry to the late Walt Disney but, the love we were taught as young girls was mystified by an inaccurate definition. We must love ourselves but, how when we’ve never been shown the right way?

I used to have this fantasy where I would meet the man of my dreams on a stage while singing at my sold out concert. My dream guy would walk onto the stage, kiss me and profess his adoration and that was my image of the phrase, “And they lived happily ever after.” No fights to work through or break ups to get over just a happy ending. As I grew older I thought I lost my fantasy when I started to choose men by the contents of their character. After I became better acquainted with a guy I would link together all of my childhood fantasies by believing in true loves kiss and just like that, a savior was born in my eyes. I have been living  in a deceptive world made of smoke, magical dust and mirrors. I learned from the trance I was under that love was a physical definition and because of this I missed out on loving myself for 36 years.

I’ve written a few blogs about the importance of self-love and as I continue to grow in my journey my definition of the fantasy dissipates. I am sure most people has heard of the song lyrics, “Looking for love in all the wrong places.” It’s ironic because I looked for love in every place that didn’t include myself. The world teaches little girls that what you look like on the outside is most significant. The world confides in the minds of little girls that we need to hate one another and be blind to the fact that we are only hating ourselves. It is up to us to pull each other up by the lowest common denominator and start praising every female we encounter. When you give love it finds its way by coming back around.

My ability to love the self became an impossible task. I kept defining conditions that pointed to worthiness. I grew up complacent in knowing with certainty I would never be attractive because my nose was too big, the gap between my teeth was repulsive and I have been living in the land of negatively labeled plus-sized women for most of my life. I even went through bouts of hell for not being articulate every time I opened my mouth. The struggle was real but, the real part of the struggle was only an impression I chose not to see. In effort to deprogram my thoughts of self-hate I am looking at all of the barriers I position in mind when I attempt to love myself. In a way I can feel the layers peel from how I used to primarily view my life. The worlds definition of love teaches us to never be satisfied with who we are.  Love goes beyond any definition because it has no limits.

Last night I had a very tiny wakeup call while thinking about my past experiences with men. I used to blame men for not treating me with decency. I held a grudge in my heart and as time passed the hatred I felt transitioned into defeat and I began to tell myself I wasn’t worthy enough to be respected. Encouragement can only get you so far. I recognized that I had to examine the conditions I placed and create a plan of action that will improve my self-worth. I must eat better and exercise my mind, body and spirit. A wealthy body is a healthy body. It is ok to look appealing with makeup as long as the glistening persona doesn’t blind the ego for, looks do change. On the same token, it is ok to get my hair done and wear nice clothes but, the definition is checked at the door so that I am able to confront my truest self. This is the period I love all of me and rely on the universe to guide me to my transcendent match in the department of love. When people disregard my worthiness I recognize that I authorized the treatment by showing them where I stand in self-love.

Love has been tarnished in songs because people struggle with its definition and the mind becomes trapped in a box surrounded by conditions.  Love Is a Battlefield, is a song by Pat Benatar that makes me think love struggles. Also, The Spinners sold the message that Love Don’t Love Nobody (It Takes A Fool). Love could never struggle because it is the undisputed champion of the universe and even darkness can’t destroy what love brings. The Spinners were wrong, love does love everybody and that’s too much for the mind to comprehend. Let go of every condition and began to feel that we were all born to be free. Thank you for visiting my page. Please like, comment and follow The Happy Nappy and fill free to share with the links below.

Be encouraged,

Miya

Don’t Find Yourself Living in a Land of Little to No Dreams.

Over the Labor Day Weekend I stayed in a Condo at Wildwood Crest, NJ. Once again nature has won me over and provided a few sacred lessons for me all involving a life that I chose that had little to no room for dreaming. I held myself back for years by finding comfort in blaming others. It ends today for, today I live in the land of infinite possibilities. One: I am a threat to a lot of women because I have my own voice and I am happy. Two: Fear is a wonderful emotion that I can embrace and not run from. Three: If my thoughts lead to a condition, then let it go and allow God to take over. Four: Every life force has its place and we should get used to trusting the universe by being still. And Five: One of my dreams was buried at the beach over the weekend.

I had an amazing weekend. I casually say amazing because I can’t internally search for any word greater than that word is for me. I got to run through the beach in the rain. I ran towards the ocean and not away where it was safe. I thought a lot about my dreams. What I want for my future and what I am willing to do to make my dreams happen. I have to say goodbye to a lot of conditional junk. I used to wonder why out of the two variants of gender women can be so hateful towards one another. I can remember when I used to put my head down because I feared what the pretty girls would say about me in front of the “cool” guys they were around. As I grew older I started to get different responses from men. When I was at my best I was like a magnet to men and when I was at my worst, the weird creeps were ever-present in my decembers. But females, they still found ways to put me down. I’ve heard you look like a man, I look like I am someone’s grandmother, my makeup looks weird, down to me being basic and dumb and of course the almighty fat shaming. I learned this weekend that I am a woman who has always had her own voice. I am strong, intelligent, and funny and so much more than anyone could understand. To the ladies out there it is better for you to support each other’s strengths than for you to bash a fellow woman down to the level of your own weaknesses. Strength is not a threat, it is a promise so, rise up and take your promise Queens!

Another thing nature taught me over the weekend is that it is ok to be afraid. When fear is present it means you are closer to your dream than you thought. A dream goes beyond your wildest expectations and the effort you put into it will lead to a lot of downs that are there to ask your spirit, how bad do you want the dream to come into fruition? As I mentioned, I ran in the rain towards the ocean. I heard the storm warning alarms and I slightly ignored them. All I wanted to do was allow the rain to beat on my face so I could feel the warm salt water erase the lotion from my face. I wanted to close my eyes and get swept away in what it feels like to be motionless through a storm. I felt like a care-free child all over again because I didn’t have a care in the world that was greater than that moment. The more I make myself happy I began to see a world with fewer conditions.

If my thoughts lead to a condition, then let it go and allow God to take over. Sunday night I lay in bed thinking of all the things that strengthen me and none of those things matter when there is a condition. I can sometimes look down on my potential because I struggle to find the right words to say. I get caught up into thoughts that don’t serve me. When my conditions are present the right words to say reside in those who have an advanced vocabulary. When I think of the person who can say it better I pause my progress. I limit the power of God by letting my will get in the way. Conditional thinking surely doesn’t help a dream when you want it to soar. That night I went to bed to the lullaby of my creator. Not only do I understand my purpose, I also understand that my entire life up until this moment and moving forward will always be in the hands of God’s will. When I ask what God’s will is for my life; it is one of great responsibility. I expect to fall many times for, when I fall I am better equipped for what God has promised.

Every life force has its place and we should get used to trusting the universe by being still. It’s interesting that I learned this lesson on the 4th day of September. The number four in numerology connects us to consciousness and awareness. The day after the storm, the sun still rose, the birds got up to gather their rations and most fascinating,  the tiny ocean dwellers washed up to the shore. Horseshoe crabs and hermit crabs don’t run when they are washed up on the beach, they stand still and trust their place in nature. There is little to no movement they wait for the tides to take them back in to the ocean, be a source for the survival of another ocean life form and/or use their bodies weight to burrow into the sand to continue their own purpose. What would life be like if we were still through things outside of our control?

The final lesson taught by nature; I can literally bury a dream. I can bury it, nurture it with love, sit back and watch my desires come to pass. Our desires can give us what we want in love or give us all that we fear and regardless of the outcome it is all according to God’s will. Push past your own limited conditional thinking and know that God freely gives us the desires of our hearts. God’s unconditional support allows us to experience what we think can spiritually destroy us and that support protects us so that, we are able to live and see another day. Count your blessings and let your blessings be part of your daily grace. Limited thinking disconnects the understanding that everything from the issues of life to the celebrations serves a purpose. Don’t waste your time on what you have no control over. Believe in yourself and like me, be bold and bury a dream wherever you feel most at home.

I offer my gratitude for reading my blog today. This weekend was compiled with synchronicity and abundance. There are a few things I said would happen before the summer came to an end and it is really amazing to see something that you hope for come to you in perfect alignment. Gratitude is key in life and I really advise you dive in the spirit of being grateful for the life you were given. Things can look bad but, I promise it’s all for a purpose. When you can’t express gratitude get off the high horse of the ego and lift someone else up. I vow to myself to give myself more time to examine all the puzzle pieces in my life that doesn’t fit with my greatest potential. I hope everyone had a great Labor Day Weekend. What has nature taught you and what advice would you give to seekers of this life. Like, or comment and share with the links below. Also follow The Happy Nappy Project. May we all find ways to make this life better starting today.

With Gratitude,

Miya

The Day I Met my Fear

My voice shakes a little when I don’t know what to say.

The room gets louder and I began to hear people shouting in dismay.

Have you ever felt a poets dream swiftly fly away?

Rotate in the paradox love is pressing he’s the way

 

And when you search for the kingdom to come it’s not your time to mend

Screaming in the manifold scripted with higher colors in the wind

Waiting for the ravens claws scratching through the skin.

We heard it all until the curtain call not a game though we try to win

 

Sally wailed through shifted shrills a nightmare we can see

If we hold on tight we’ll be alright sailing you and me

I was the kite in the light how heavenly we could be

Time will speak of stories dark so happy and glitter free

 

Fakeness turns the blind man cold it was your reverie

If we held on to our stories tell me, where would we be?

Life becomes the see-saw we scrap for balance in the yin

You’ll always be my solider mystical and deranged

 

Clocks flow heavy and dance upon the atmosphere

When it’s time to let go of the hand we disappear

Run around through wisdoms hell we sacrifice for fear

We stood tall in the tyrant’s hall kindly bowing below the pier

 

Listen to me clearly we’re wasting all the means

Guess this is where I’ll end it but I’ll be coming back again

Managing the cauldron it’s guilty flowing through the stream

Waterfalls surround us all protecting every dream