My love for God encourages my longing for others to have peace. I was marked by God but, could not see the blessings for what they were so, I assumed I was cursed with feelings of wanting to “fix” situations outside of my own life. This assumption left me with outward feelings of rejection because I did not recognize that I was the culprit. I fought my way into the goblin city and was confronted with the enemy. There by a dying tree my flesh was enslaved by the devil. I actively contested the truth of God and in the ethereal world I warred against myself. By becoming nothing under God I was able to immediately transform my thoughts, the things I said and my actions. To be humble under God is to serve others. I’ve misinterpreted this for a long time. The one true sacrifice that positively impacts our purpose is giving our lives over to God. I used to sacrifice in the name of other human being’s whom I called family and friend. I nearly killed myself for the sake of reviving greatness in someone else. Thankfully, my misinterpretations have not suppressed the many opportunities for clarity as I delve deeper into understanding the predestined maze within.
Our ego is the enemy, our ego, what I believe, is part of the devil. We are told that in the beginning of mankind our flesh longed to know the difference between good and evil and in doing so lead us all down the path of original sin. In current times Christianity isn’t lost but, there is so much confusion regarding the laws of God that it has caused people to actually move further away from the passion of wanting to individually know God and His laws. I am completely thankful to God that he continues to show me the way back to His heart. In doing so God has opened doors for me so that I can better understand where his Goodness comes from as it relates to the good works I do externally. My captivity made me trust in my good works, judge my own short-comings and condemn myself to death inwardly so that everyone I encountered would feel the weight of the world I was truly living with. My inner need for peace forced people to break away from my “brokenness” meanwhile, I dragged at their feet so I could be a companion avatar of happiness for them.
One day God tapped me on the right shoulder with his voice and said, “Child get up from this brokenness.” When I heard his voice I shuttered with fear for I knew the power that was in my masters hands. I was so afraid that I told myself I would rather play with paper dolls than obtain the better life waiting for me. Thankfully, God has shown me that I was gifted to live and until I get to my final resting place judgment over my servitude is in God’s hands. Guilt evaporates because I am no longer the faithful doormat that has to please all the people all of the time. I am liberated to pleasing only God all of the time. My good works for others are always first and foremost under the authority of my heavenly father. Words are funny because they hold all the power of what lies ahead. When words have no foundation we end up falling short. I’ve tried placing myself and others as my foundation and the kingdom within always caved. I built up my own logic and called it correct so every day I lived off of pride for, I believed I was the only one who knew what was best. I did everything in the name of Miya and not in the name of Jesus. I thank God for humbling my ways. Now I operate from his power by reading the word and praying to combat old habits that don’t belong in the next level of what God has for me. The reputation of death means that I can live anew. My willingness to serve comes from my heavenly Father of whom I live to confirm his good works in me.
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