For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.
Anger and unforgiveness have invaded my heart space like an outer world being coursing venom through my veins. As a result, my daily life has always been challenging. I’ve lived with depression for most of my life beginning with adolescence. I have always discovered new ways to be hard on myself by living out the lower end of my thoughts to the fullest. Like most of the masses I’m running on a treadmill. I can see the light but, there is never an end in sight. When I look to my left and to my right all I can see are brick walls covered in dust and surprisingly glitter. When I start believing that I’ve reached this archetypal destination I think I’ve won the battle but, to my own misfortune the destinations are only illusions. Defeat was my story and I realized that the lives around me tell me more about who I am and where I stand spiritually.
I always thought it was funny when I heard people say how the bible was contradictory. I’ve had many friends turn away from God based off disappointments or on the basis that religion itself is used to control the masses. I have to admit, I once believed that my faith had to be private because I feared that I would not be firm enough in the word of God to be a candidate by confirming all of what God has done for me. My fear made me vulnerable so I decided that I would explore different religions from Buddhism to Mysticism, to nearly Atheism I have tried them all in hopes of finding the Law of life, in hopes of finding the Truth about God and Jesus Christ. Every method I’ve tried has led me back to the light of God and to his Laws. I’ve learned a lot from my teacher and I know I have many stories ahead that I will be able to share with the ones I love. God has taught me that the eyes we are born with are crystal balls. Meaning, the results of what you see are determined by how you feel. I’ve had to learn the hard way that I must be held accountable for how I feel but, more importantly I must learn how to forgive myself immediately and not stay with the shame accountability can bring. The consequence, I can see the results of my internal world by the reflection of the world around me.
When I see my nephew, I see myself. He is a dreamer. He loves to play video games and has a knack for storytelling. He wants to be a YouTube Gamer and he believes in the best in everyone. I love him so much, he is my immediate reflection besides myself. When I see how upset he gets because he is teased at school I think, how I can help him get through what was hard for me to understand at his age. My only answer was to build him up by continuing to build myself up because I can’t love him the right way if I don’t love myself. I shower him with the infinite love of a nation and I encourage him daily so that he knows God adores him and when the idea of God’s love is tested I teach him to remember that I love him and it is God’s word in me that stands stronger than anything that he could ever face. With him being my immediate reflection I am able to heal the little girl who forgot how to dream.
My mother is my next immediate reflection. From her I can see the strong woman I have become. Through the many trials and tribulations that this woman has been through she still smiles. I can honestly say that it is because of her that I always put my happy face forward to let everyone know that the battle scars left a few victories and no matter what in the end I will always rise. Names reflect a powerful image of the different authorities in our life and mother is at the top of the list. My mother has lost a child, lost a home, had to raise adults and her grand-children, she had to work in an age of sexism and racism, she had to support us through many battles and the band plays on for this true Warrior Queen. By loving my mother more than anything in the world I am learning to love all of my imperfections. I would rather not be what the world’s definition of attractive is for, the secrets in me will always be my strongest assets. That strength is withdrawn by the reflection of my mother.
The final reflection for me is myself. I have seeded a plethora of ideas into my spirit. The world inside of me tells me to deny myself of self-love,generosity,kindness,guidance,acceptance,forgiveness,and motivation . What I see when I have no makeup on is a sad, sick, lonely depressed woman. By using makeup I apply layer after layer of artificial sweeteners. I look into the mirror and applaud myself for whomever I might fool each day. I put on the illusion of a happy face. What breaks the cycle of my own shortcomings is the connection between the child I was and the woman I must become. My reality is altered by fine-tuning the world within. The only way of doing this is by nurturing my nephew and appreciating my mother so that, my immediate reflections brings forth a new woman who Loves God and holds her head high like a child on Christmas morning proudly pronouncing unto the world how great God he has been to me.
Life is a journey and if we are lucky we will find ourselves and our life purpose. God made me special and I see just how special through my mother and my nephew. We all have been called by God to live. Let love teach you who you are so you can understand by using your reflections as your guide. I am grateful for the all that is necessary to catapult me to the next level of my life. A life where my parents can witness Gods great works in me. I want my niece and nephew to prosper by learning to trust in God alone for, this world will disappoint and misguide you if you aren’t aware of the power God gave you. The reflections we meet with daily are only the outcome of the internal war present in every living being. Take care of your reflections.
Thank you for reading this post today. I hope that you enjoy my findings in the lessons I’ve learned and will continue to learn. I testify that we don’t need to find fortune tellers to tell us about our future. Our future is determined by the seeds we plant each day inside our memories. Take a review of your memories and see how it affects your heart by paying attention to your reflections. Like and comment on this post, follow me on my journey and share with the links below. Our true reflection will always be the results of our faith.
Be Well,
Miya
The Happy Nappy Project 