Through my observations most people will live out most of their conscious moments trying to disprove the Laws of God. Spiritual teachings are bountiful but, I’ve seen many passerby’s take the easy way out. Throughout my own timeline I can recall the crystal ball images of the desires of my heart and all those desires had gone off to the wastelands. I now see clearly that reaching for acceptance beyond God will never work for someone like me. I came to have an abundant life but, at what cost? Just to have a few prayers go my way only to realize that my way was not beneficial for me. I once believed that a crystal stone would populate a golden fairy tale but, stones have no power compared to God. I carried an amethyst to ward off evil and believed an opal ring possessed unmatched magical powers to heighten my worthiness in the world. There is nothing and no one that holds the keys to the universe especially when under the deceptive guise of what is ecstatically pleasing to the eye. There are many times in my life where I failed God by yearning for external substitutes for my soul. I honestly believed with fingers crossed that having a boyfriend, being around people who I can call my friends, and possessing loads of money were the tickets to living an ideal life. Today, I testify that when you yearn for anything outside of God you will run into many roadblocks in this life.
My first and most impactful roadblock experience was when I longed for acceptance. From my childhood days to my current adult years I was never popular. I was often rejected by my peers and some of my family members because I wasn’t recognizably pretty, I didn’t wear name brand clothing, I’ve had a constant battle with my weight and my hair was never luxuriously long or soft. Before I hated the world I hated myself. In school I was picked on because I was recognizably different from the cultural acceptance where features were vaguely important. My parents never told me that there would be people in life who would never accept me and I give God all the praises for keeping me in the dark. If it wasn’t for God I would have never been able to see that I was uniquely designed and I was perfectly made in God’s image. I don’t need to be accepted by anyone outside of God. Today, I am free because of God’s divine wisdom. Surely, what God has for me is for me.
Another massive roadblock was my undying need to be in a relationship with someone. I used to push through hell and back just to say I had a boyfriend. I was never the object of positive attention. Hoping that I would one day grow out of the awkward phase I was disappointed by the public reaction when boys treated me as if I wore the cloak of invisibility. In present times men turn a blind eye to recognize my existence. I used to be extremely bitter when I discovered that people can be dismissive and not bat an eye in the process. What forced me to change my perspective was the day I realized that God takes me as I am for his love has substance. Also, self-acceptance should be my primary mission in my present and moving forward. I was made by God through my parents and I love that it is a challenge for others to accept me. Let me be the stepping stone for those who need to learn a little more about the power of God. My God is the Alpha and the Omega who can go against the creator of the heavens and Earth.
A happy life used to mean having love, friendships and lots of money. I thought money could buy me love and with the abundance of money I could live out my days never worrying about my future stability. I’ve learned that when you desire to have abundance over God you can get what you want but, there is always danger looming when you start to love money. I used to believe my bank account was the answer to all of my troubles. In the past every time I was upset I would go shopping to mend my frustration. Abundance should never be taken for granted. One day you can have your heart’s content and the next everything can be snatched away from you. When I woke up from the illusion of what abundance is I could really see my deceitful heart. I am highly thankful that God forgave my foolishness. The only treasure for me is the Kingdom of God. Money doesn’t buy anything of true value when your heart is not in the right place. For me, God had to become my center and I would rather change my walk then continue living another day placing my faith on my finances. My heart belongs to God alone.
Being the misfit is sobering. I know that every challenge that I’ve faced and will face in my future was predestined by God. I no longer look at situations that used to break me as my darkest moments for God knew I would overcome those hard times. I am content with what I have but, I am encouraged also because I know that God will always see to it that I am protected. I live my best life now for all of my riches are placed in God. Every day I retract from the world I grow closer to God. For those who struggle with their value know that you were perfectly designed to share your gift to the world. Never allow negativity to through you off course and believe that you are precious and wonderfully made.
Thank you for reading my blog today. Like this post, comment, and share with the links below. Also, follow me on my journey if you enjoy my content and remember nothing and no one will ever fulfil your desires but, we can start by trusting God and placing value in loving ourselves.
Love Without Ceasing,
Miya
The Happy Nappy Project 