Todays world is capitalized with narcissism and unrealistic love where outside appearances are all that matters. I used to stake my life on these narrow credences. I was ignorant of how the words we say moves through the forces of nature. As a result, what I hated on the outside I ended up hating on the inside. Deep inside I always wanted to be accepted into the world of the cool kids. Once in the world where sadness lives I hated that I was rejected by people who wore nice clothes, girls who were slim or whom I felt were prettier than me, men I liked never noticing my existence, and the color of my skin. For most of my life this beating drum was my reality.
Living life just to be accepted is not a life at all, it is a prison. By raging the war against what I thought I wasn't in my eyes, I kept drilling the same principles of not having and more importantly not accepting myself. From childhood until 36 years of age I thought I was the meek that did not inherit the earth. I had a minuscule understanding of the word meek and inheritance or abundance. Meek is an adjective meaning quiet, gentle or submissive. In order to be submissive to inheritance one must take a stance in never fighting against silencing the soul. My former definition of meek meant to have nothing, live a vagrant life by being one with nature and spirit, and also void of materials. I missed one important understanding and that was my definition of abundance and inheritance for it was opposite the word of God.
Blessed are the meek: For they shall inherit the earth.
~Matthew 5:5 KJV
A quiet and gentle spirit is in the position to receive abundance from the universe. We are born to receive and the structures of this world are very misleading. Everything that has been programmed into the human mind has created various personality groups. Growing up I thought Jesus was a sad person who courageously put the weight of the world on his shoulders. While watching the Passion of the Christ, Jesus was portrayed as a broken man . Every portrayal of Jesus I can think of made sacrificing seem as if it were a risk not worth taking. The passion I understood was that the world would always be against those who followed Christ. At a young age, even through losing loved ones and material things I made the courageous choice to pick up my cross and follow Christ. I found comfort in seclusion and the spiritual connection that I had with God in the presence of nature. To me this was paramount in my life. My spirit was happy in the wilderness. The problem with me shutting out the world was that it made my faith a fantasy.
When I joined the working world I was forced to leave the sacred place I established with God. I thought that my choices boiled down to God or the world. I struggled with self-acceptance on the grounds that I despised everything about the world. I made the issues of the world my battle due to the lack of obedience to quiet my soul to hear the true word of God away from worldly interpretations. I took the power way from the word of God when I heard the battle is the Lords.
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
~John 16:33 KJV
In my life I became very good at being meek but, due to my delusion, did not inherent self-love. I was too focused on defeating the problems with the world and the mirror image returned with lightening speed and pointed the manifestation of the same problems creating a reality of hell inside and out. Today I learned such a great lesson and was able to be able to graduate to a new level in loving thy self.
I have some advice for those who struggle with loving who they are. Self-love begins on the inside, the castle of the soul. To become whole your spirit must be in perfect calibration with love. Also, discern that we live in a world that has already been conquered by our higher selves. So, the only thing we should ever do is appreciate all of our experiences and firmly cognize that love is so powerful it takes away the sins of the world. Love who you are for there is nothing formed against you unless you decide to form hatred for the world outside of yourself. The key to keep self-loathing from happening is for you to love who you are inside, out.
Thank you for connecting with my thoughts today. The power of love will continue to guide us all to truth and I look forward to each day that I get to share my journey with you all. Like and comment on this post. Follow me and share with the links below.
To Loving Yourself Inside-Out,
Miya
The Happy Nappy Project 