The Guillotine

“Busy your mind with the concepts of harmony, health, peace, and good will, and wonders will happen in your life. ~ Joseph Murphy

The Guillotine has been released and now you have lost your head. This is what programming does, it rips the control you have over your mind. The result, you run around wild like a chicken that has lost its head. The study of human thought patterns began to plague me in my early 20’s. I took up the basics of psychology my first and second year of college. At that time I began to read books which focused on the powers of the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is a hidden treasure. The powers of the subconscious defies logic because science can provide little proof to its mysterious functions. The subconscious sits on the throne of our emotions. When you no longer want to lose your mind you have to understand the genesis of the destruction.

A little science into the powers of the subconscious mind will teach you that the subconscious mind doesn’t understand negative vibrations. For example, if I say don’t think of an apple pie. Automatically, you think of the apple pie. This is just one of many examples. The subconscious can be difficult to understand. There is an internal voice in everyone who tells the truth about who we are through how we feel. Thoughts turn into actions and then actions will show the results. All thoughts have a cycle. Another example; I can say I really want to lose 50 lbs. The problem in my verbiage would be in the desire of wanting. I have set in motion that I will always want and the outcome will remain with me wanting. Therefore, I will not have.

I’ve mentioned this before but, the world within can never be without. There is only room for positive thoughts if, you make the choice to turn against superficial advertisement. When I say I want to lose weight I am still not believing. I must believe that I have already achieved the goal because nothing will be able to keep me from my belief. I ask myself daily where my true faith lies in all of my actions. Faith has two different roads that leads to hell or goes straight to heaven and it is our choice on what we choose. I could say that I am not happy with some of the results of my faith but, that would only continue the negative vibrations. I am grateful for all of the life lessons I have learned and will continue to learn and because of this I am no longer like a chicken that has lost its head.

A weakness is only an opportunity to discover something new. The world we are a part of mocks faith by calling us mindless sheep. In many ways I believe this concept because we reinforce what we are taught in school, through television programming and from each other so, there is rarely true originality. We mindlessly regurgitate the lessons indoctrinated into the subconscious. Our bodies twitch into different directions with no rhythm attached to the madness. In weakness I fear that many are making the choice to sleep when life is screaming for them to be awake. The truth to our humanity, we are connected to a higher purpose. We are of our own class and are able to take control of body and mind by strengthening the subconscious, the house of the spirit.

I can only imagine that we were told a lie at birth that we are to be categorized into classes and separated by races. These separations cause us to argue over the existence of God and the Devil. All separations will detach thoughts and actions. When we lose our minds we act before thinking. The reason why we don’t think is all thanks to the reaction of the lessons learned by the subconscious. I would love to build an army of people who learned how to take control over their thoughts. It sounds unachievable but, in my world all things are possible. Like a CPU our subconscious configures information and carries out instructions. The conscious mind assists the subconscious mind. Before a thought is carried out attempt to connect with how that thought makes you feel. I suggest if there is any indifference check that emotion with positive thoughts.

Thank you for accepting the invitation into my thoughts. If you like this post, click like and share your comments. Also, feel free to share with the links below.

Live in Happiness,





Stolen hearts cry imprisoned in the dark
Reaching out into shadows of an apparatus, Tony Stark
Calling out to intangible beings
Mystified by the wind but no wings
Set your life to fill with treasured desires
The heart is deceitful above all things
So expect to find a liar
Part of you has been yearning to live
Choose to wake up if not time will end
Set the clock to grand definitions
He’s not really what you’re missing
Dreams wasted by the nothing
You’ll never become due to the internal war lacking.
Defy and categorize all logic and reason
Pain is a present in any given season
Can’t let go of illusory control
If today was your last day would you lose it all?
Attempting is a fantasy created for dimensions
Never let success be the definition of temptation

In the Name of Love

We are all forward thinkers that live in a world which, poetically dances with wolves. This idea makes me question if believing in the name of love for the sake of love is worth it. If I am to say I offer an unconditional love that transcends all human behavior can I love the wolves established by my conditional thinking? As if encoded into my DNA, I grew up believing that fairy tales were real and I know there are a lot of women and men in this world who feel the same. We’ve all seen the “And they lived happily ever after” movies so, believing we will find a prince who will save us from utter disaster will come natural or for men, saving their princess. I’ve made my own check list of what love really is verses the world of love shown through self-projections. Women have learned how to hate other women with particular features thanks to programming. We call them ugly, sluts, bitches, whores and in the name of the love of a man we spiritually stab other women in the back.

This hostility against one another tells me that we are all in desperate need of creating a world where we understand the true definition of love and are also able to implement the understanding into our daily lives. The best version of ourselves will always start in the now. Crying over yesterday only displays your trust in never letting go. When you focus on the superficial nobody you will become today tells you that while in the now moment you choose to miss the mark of your own strength to make changes now for the future. Putting things off tomorrow shows that you have faith that you will see another day. We live in an uncertain world so it is now that makes the difference, not tomorrow. We start with love because it is the only solution for all of our weaknesses. When we understand that no weapon formed against us will prosper (Isaiah 54:17), we will truly fight in the name of love.

When our troops go to war we see them fighting for this country. Troops represent the internal war of self-acceptance, for the law of attraction, when at war with others, teaches us that we are at war with ourselves. Internal wars don’t yield to love. The only way to yield to love is to sacrifice your understanding of it. If we are to change the world we must put aside the definition because sacrifices don’t come with conditions. True love does not have to be the punching bag humanity created. Sacrifice doesn’t come with conditions and I remind myself that sacrifice and love are one. One day I asked myself if I was sacrificing/ loving the right way. After I read 1 Corinthians 13 I put to test my understanding and discovered that I was wrong. Love is an internal two way street and if you exemplify true love you will effortlessly attract authenticity.

The subject of love has been sluggish for me over the years. I once believed that accepting someone for things that would hurt me was a sacrifice worth taking. I am glad I no longer think this way. When people don’t hold love within them they will only attract the part of themselves that needs to make the revision of love a priority. In the name of love we naturally choose the battlefield. Love is a sacrifice that comes with consequences so, I create a reminder of what I am giving up because it may not be worth the effort. I accept that I am no one’s savior for, in life we can only save ourselves. The love I jump into freely may turn into a conditional wasteland. The law of living has taught me that I would only attract outward conditions due to the conditions within. The world within can never be without so, if you assign conditions for self-love, your reflection will have limitations.

If I were to create the conditions of love by getting a nose job, losing weight, thriving in the career I’ve always wanted and obtaining the man of my dreams, I must understand that one day that will all drift away. If love is unfailing then my conditions should never be external. In the name of love sacrifice the program. True love will hold your hand through the storm you share together. It will not fail because love is an undisputed champion. In the name of love understand that love is what protects you from bearing the weight of a world designed to honor sorrow. Sacrifice means giving up nothing because nothing is too great for love to conquer. It is not us who protects love it is love who protects us. In the name of love I will jump into the middle of the ocean of my soul during a storm because love is always with me.

When you want to get a message to spread your persistence must persevere. Dear readers, I am persistent. When I learn something new I not only jot it down, I start to live what I have learned. I am always excited to share my thoughts and of course it feels amazing when other people are able to connect with what I am feeling. Agree or disagree, I am grateful to all who holds interest when I want to share my thoughts. I will always hope that you test and approve or disapprove my point of view. To make a change we must actively move forward with change in the moment and now is always that time.

Thank you for reading. If you like this post click the like button and or comment with your personal stories or suggestions of what you would do in the name of the definition of love I presented. Also, share with the links below if you are moved.

Live Happily in the name of Love,




Sparks that Soar

“No one can give you this advice except this. You must go alone, you must leave all of your weapons behind, it will be very dangerous.” The Neverending Story 1984
What if before we were born to this world we were told by our creator that the world would be filled with hopelessness? We would be born into a world ruled by operated machine men. We would have to lose people who we call family and friends. Dear ones who would are there for our first kiss and sometimes we will not be able to be there for their last. Loss has no boundaries but, don’t allow it to stop your fight. People will lie to you, take from you and treat you like your entire name was abuse. Don’t let this deter you because the love I give is not artificial. Your time will be what it will be so, slow your pace and love life in this world of darkness. Before you enter I have one last thing to say.

I will not be coming with you on this journey, as you know. Here you have weapons that can defeat any displeasure. You cannot take them with you in the world of darkness. You will forget everything, including me. When you hear rumors of me, it will be presented as a fairytale, and you will remember my tale as if it were Romeo and Juliet. However, in your heart will be a key that will always lead you straight back to me. You were not born with any fear. One day you will realize that the deceiver of this world wants you to think that fear was something you were born with but, that special light will never allow the spirit within that guides you to believe in a lie.

With lightning speed we are born. Like a sacrifice, we come here born covered in the blood of our mother’s womb. I know I don’t remember the day I was born but, I can connect to every spiritual rebirth I go through. If I had been told that I would come to this world spiritually naked, I can’t imagine a scenario where I would sign up for that and with this knowledge, I have so much more life in me yet to discover. It is very refreshing to know that I have a fearless side of myself that has yet to come out. The only way to build yourself out of darkness is to learn to build darkness out of you. I am doing this every day when I write a blog or unceasingly build new friendships. Of course I want someone to love but, I am starting to believe that real love starts at the childhood of our life, we call it friendship. Most important to me now is connecting with people who believe that we are the light and it is our duty to not allow the light of others to drift away in death. Nothing in this world is eternal and I am at the age where love is the only thing worth defending.
Readers, I want you to know that we all have a purpose. The manufactured purpose is only a fraction of a life without limits. Born into this life we have no weapons to protect us from the pain we must endure. There is a higher love that instills in us all a strength unbinding, a true light that will never blind you. The sick call out for help. The people of this world are only artificially sick, recovering from a war but, we have to pull ourselves up, dust ourselves off and recognize the battle is already won. The light that lies in our hearts will never die out. There is nothing that any person, place or thing, not even by our own hands that will separate us from glory. In your weak moments take with you these words: Though we are born in darkness never allow deception to invite the belief that we are not the light that will heal anything lacking love.
As always, I thank you for accepting the invitation of reading my thoughts today. The world within can never be without so, take the reins of life and create love to all in need. Dear Readers, click the like button and comment. Also, if you are convicted, please share with the links below.
Live strong in the purpose of happiness,

Building Blocks 

When I was a little girl I used to love building blocks. I would always try to create different types of buildings. I was never really good at building so, I gave that up. Years later, on PC and PlayStation I began to play The Sims. On The Sims you create people and buildings. Like the building blocks, I was no good at building and I gave that up too. In 2010, I went to see the movie Inception on the weekend it premiered. My cousin was going to Princeton University at the time and it was his birthday. Me, his mother, his brother and he, of course, went to see the film. Thanks to 80’s films, I always look for symbolism in movies and the message of the director. Inception was dope. The message I received from that movie was this: Inside of our minds displays a world of buildings that we are responsible for. Much of the time we are careless of those dreams and big dreams can die if not guarded. When your mind is not guarded, you are open for the inception of deception. 
In truth, for years the buildings inside my mind crumbled. I, like most people in life, did not recognize I was under hypnosis. In my mind lay false dreams and rivers of hopelessness. The world within was not pretty so, I moped outwardly testifying that I was the un-beautiful one. In my mind there were trapped doors guarded by the spirit of never letting go. Rivers of people who used me for my very unique love because I have learned how to remove conditions. The land caged within my cranium was so beautiful and I refused to see it. I was blinded by the artificial lights of film and TV. One day the spell was removed and I began to see with real light, like the light I saw at my grandmother’s funeral back in 1991.
This light wiped all of my fears away. Real magic isn’t smoke and mirrors. When I made the dedication to love me. I had no idea that the journey would take me to cater to strengthening my thought patterns. My life will continue to change as I work on freeing all that holds me back. The more I understand myself the more I am able to understand others without judgment. My mind is in repair but, I have full control of the reconstruction and that feels really great to know.
The building blocks that matter are within the mind. We are born with power until the world introduces the idea that we are with or without it. God is not the author of confusion so understand that there is never a choice if we have power or not because, like I said, we are born with power. I besiege my readers to never become complacent. Advice can be good from others but, we live in a land of artificial light strolling in the dark. It is important to know who you are without what we all were taught. This world is a lens that doesn’t value your connection with unknown worlds within. I can only ask that you consider my suggestions. Change only starts with you and never an outside source.
Thank you so much for reading my thoughts today. I have been watching a ton of HBO’s Game of Thrones lately so, I had to end this blog on a royal note. If you like this post please click the like button and feel free to share your thoughts. Also, please share with the links below.
Live united with happiness,


I’ve addressed fear in previous blogs. I had a really intense weekend filled with a lot of interesting choices and no regrets because I no longer hold fear as an outcome. I was able to let go of the fear of becoming a very outgoing person. It was exhilarating that I was able to talk to random strangers by just saying hello and offering small talk if the invitation for conversation was accepted. People in the North-Eastern part of the United States are more reserved than those who live in the South. Innately I can only guess it is because those up North are further away from nature. I believe that everything about nature connects us to our true purpose. The cycles of the earth can teach a person so much about life. We are all happy people waiting for our blessings and nature will teach all of us that the blessings we are waiting for already in existence.
I didn’t have to dare myself to be outgoing for, it came naturally. My weekend nearly lead me to the Wissahickon Valley Park. This park is also known as Valley Green to locals. It has hiking trials, a gorgeous view of a creek and you are surrounded by trees. When it rains the water rises and you don’t have to fear of being swept away with the current of the stream. In the middle of the park lies a historic restaurant called the Valley Green Inn. I am not sure if I ever stated this but, if I ever marry, this is the place I want to get married. It was built between 1850 -1851 and was originally a hotel. During a rain storms, if you stand by the restaurant you are given a stage view of the storm because the surrounding trees protects you from the heavy rain. On many occasions when I was younger I would come here with my friends or dangerously go myself.
Nature allows me to open my thoughts so that I am able to reach into the multiple meanings of life through my perspective. When my feet are in the dirt or touches grass I feel the importance of our own understanding of how firm we should be grounded figuratively into the ground. Dirt and grass symbolizes the strength of humanity. A strong tree will be able to live for many years and like a strong tree when we you have strong roots, even if the ground is saturated, you will not fall. A barren field can bear no fruit. If, you don’t plant any seeds you will have barren results in your life. We have cycles just like the earth because it is our home and we are connected to the life of our planet. My confidence was a seed I most recently decided to unleash.
When you want to live your best life you better do it NOW. Yes, the earth has cycles as do we but, maybe we should ingrain in our hearts and minds with the knowledge that a tree can die at any moment. If I had to compare, we are the trees and I feel that we must take advantage of enjoying all that comes our way good or bad. I was able to step out of my comfort zone by allowing the seeds of confidence to grow within me to create a new comfort zone. I have planted many seeds into my life both known and unknown. As of today I know that the major seeds are love, happiness, writing, connecting with other people, enjoying nature, cherishing all relationships, & fearlessness. I want the products of my life to display what I am sewing. I have already been able to connect with some amazing people and I look forward to the many moments filled with the life lessons I have yet to learn.
We are born ready for the journey of life. Even when our linear brain gets in way there is a part of us we are born with that will guide us down the right and wrong paths we chose to take. Thanks to cycles we understand that the choice of right or wrong never determines the fate of our happiness. The person that makes the active choice to be happy will know that happiness comes with different cycles. Like the wheel of fortune never changes, neither does happiness. The wheel may turn like a cycle and the cycle may bear different results but, the wheel of fortune will never be given another name. This is what I chose to be my definition of happiness. I believe all happiness is a beautifully crafted wheel that holds a name that will never change regardless of the many different cycles it may go through.
Dear readers, I thank you so much for connecting with my thoughts today. Please like and or leave a comment and share with the links below. 
Live in happiness,


From the time we are born we are raised by the television. I grew up watching The Care Bears, Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake, Mr. Rogers, Brain Games, Fraggle Rock, Good ole’ Sesame Street and many more. I also watched movies like The Goonies, The Labyrinth, The NeverEnding Story, Big Bird goes to China, the Museum and Japan, Brave Little Toaster, The Little Mermaid, and once again, I could literally go on forever. My childhood television programs taught me the meaning of all colors. Through poetic influence, yesterday I began to look at the earth and then it began to quake. Reality is a deception but, it doesn’t have to be, reality is truly what you make of it. The shape of a tree was a lesson learned. The colors of them, the way the leaves dance in the breeze, the aroma of them on a warm spring or summer day or how beautiful the foliage is in the fall. I even see the beauty in a frozen tree stem after a heavy snow fall. I am no longer learning what life is through a television screen that told my vision what to think. Now is the time to refresh everything I thought I knew about life and I have a few suggestions on how we can all get this done.
When I think of colors I attach the color to a feeling. As children we learned that colors have meaning. I guess that is why poets and painters exist so that we can go deeper into the meaning of each color. Red means temptation or love, black means fear or death, white, means purity or completeness. In short, I prove my point that colors have meaning. How I feel shows its reflection in the world around me. Understanding the meaning of colors, I am able to connect my view of the world as I was taught. My fear of death is because everything I watched as a child was cloaked in darkness. Even movies that showed the spirit of togetherness, like Steel Magnolias, the undying theme was death. Because this is what I was shown, I decided at a very young age that I would have a life of happiness but, I also decided my happiness would always end in tragedy.
I can be very optimistic about life but, I am also extremely pessimistic. Every time I get sick or anyone around me gets sick, I always see sadness in the end. It is a good and bad thing that we are all operating on a collective consciousness. Personally, it is good because my fear of death is ultimately conquered. The color of death will be what I make of it, it doesn’t have to be linked to what I was taught by film and television programming. Death does not mean sadness. With triumph, this means I have so much more to learn about life. I haven’t even touched the surface of what life is really about. I don’t have to worry about my limited time. I am now free, for my purpose is to experience all that life has to offer and to find the joy in all things. Up until today, I have not been feeling well. As always, when I get sick I always think that I am going to die from some ailment. I used to become so obsessed with learning about all of these ailments so that when I became sick, I could link my knowledge of the symptoms to how I was feeling. I am proud to say that I am no longer a prisoner to negative thinking.
I have this idea that life is very complex because what we are taught molds how we think. The undying theme of this blog. When in darkness we are always at the choice to become our greatest potential or to proclaim defeat. Flashes of light can make one go blind so, we must find ways to adjust and not run away because remember most of us were taught black means to have fear of the unknown. I really hope my readers can understand that I am trying to build new roads to how we were taught. I told a friend yesterday that we are to be scientists in life. A good scientist will build a hypothesis and with tons of hardcore personal research they are able to come up with a conclusion that results in fact or fiction. When there is no truth or false found you must continue your research. Ladies and gentleman that is the definition of life. Everything in life is a theory. Build your own hypothesis on what life means to you. Get out of the comfort of another man’s theory. If life were based on fact alone it would have no meaning.
My suggestion of the week is to write down every color and allow yourself (not the internet) to provide a definition. After this is done, Write down the name of every person that has meaning and does not have meaning to you (I mean write down the names of your family and friends, write down the name of so-called enemy’s and write down the names of people or things that mean nothing to you). Now, next to each name add a description and write a color that closely links to the description. This will help you to break down how you view life. Think of any way you can now view life your way because each spectrum of color can mean so much more than what we learned through the inductive reasoning stages of our life.
I thank you all so much for reading today. Please press the like button and/or comments below. Also, feel free to share with the attached links. And, as always, live in happiness.
Live in truth



I saw the mirror image of myself sitting at a table Asking 

Would I love myself?

Her image scanned to a different story

Trapped in a heart still beating 

But she still sings,

Would I love myself? 

Those eyes dance a little in the dark 

Tying to a different torment 


Would I love myself?

Child instantly amazing deep to a place of her creation can she ever build a nation 

Just to say, 

Would I love myself? 

He looks at her from a distance 

Yet wraps her with no condition

And he says 

How could she not love herself?

There’s no limit to her power 

Dazed to something that will not shatter 

And she says, 

I love myself….

Tribute to my Mother

I am up at 2/3 am writing about my mother. She is an amazing woman and I don’t give her the full love that she deserves. She was able to raise two reflections of her femininity and I must say that me and my sister have failed her. I am so ashamed for the disappointing daughter that I have been in the past. I have lied, stolen, and talked to her with disrespect and all she has ever done was be the most supportive mother to me and my sister. I’ve dated men that could never and would never love me. I’ve dated men she would never approve of and all she wants is for me to be happy. She paved ways for me to achieve my dreams and I did nothing to make my dreams happen. When I lost everything all I could do is have a pity party for years. Again, my mother was there to try to protect me from the pain of losing a child because she, like me, lost a child.  I am left at this hour feeling the weight of giving my mother a tribute.

When I was a little girl she would always tell me to never give me stuff away and by stuff I mean to never have sex with a man unless he treats you like not just a queen, The Only Queen who ever existed on this earth. I am moved to judgement and if I have to be judged today I would not make it to the place we call heaven. My trickery in the past was my heaven. How could I ever see beauty from a different perspective when I abused beauty directly? My mother is the beauty I’ve mislead so many times in my past. I am here attempting to write a post about my mother. I finally see her maternal beauty. I can remember her singing Minnie Riperton’s Loving you, a song about her daughter Maya Rudolph. She sang so beautifully to me and I can remember feeling like my mother made the song just for me.

Yup, my sister and I have been a complete disappointment. We never had much money but, she worked so hard to provide every toy me and my sister ever wanted. Every Christmas I can remember our tree was crowded with toys for just two little girls. My parents used to allow us to get up before them to start opening our gifts, so I thought anyway. My sister and I would watch Emmet Otter’s Jugband Christmas. I have always hoped that me and my sister could repair our relationship so we can carry on the tradition of our childhood. The first boyfriend I ever cared about was a semi high school sweetheart. When he broke my heart she knew I could tough it out. The first boy that broke me mentally she told me he would come back. and this was the realist thing I’ve learned from her.

For years I mistook her wisdom as a joke. When she told me every man that broke me would come back, I jumped for joy thinking that a man that came back would automatically be my prince charming. Took 30 years just to see how much of an amazing woman she is and the woman she tried so hard to make out of me. As a parent she made sure she protected me and my sister from pain. It’s crazy how I am mentally transporting images of my childhood. Back on 11th street in Logan is where I was raised. My parents moved us into a formally Jewish neighborhood and built a lot of loving memories. I can remember going to my mother telling her I wanted to be a singer. She scraped her maternal instincts to nurture something I loved. Even if I wasn’t that good at it, she was there. When I was made fun of growing up she would always tell me the kids that made fun of me were talking about me because they were jealous. That phrase never made much sense to me but, now I see that people often are jealous when they talk about something they are not. To me, jealously itself is making fun of people who you don’t understand.

Years ago, as a teenager I had an abortion. I don’t talk about it to anyone, I was 15. She didn’t yell at me. She, along with the mother of my so-called boyfriend, went with me to get the abortion. My mother supported me by helping to get rid of a mistake and she made sure I continued my education and remain focused on my dreams of being a singer. I went to Franklin Learning Center, my second choice school that had a music program. I was too afraid to share my voice with the top school, Creative and Performing Arts (CAPA). My mother loved me so much that she had me live with my aunt just to go to a school in Montgomery County, North Penn. I know she wanted the best for me. Sadly, I could not see how much she loved me. I was too busy thinking about my “friends” and not seeing how much they were holding me back.

When I was little my mother allowed me to be creative. I lived in a fantasy world as a little girl. My mother, with all her love, never told me that the world was opposite from what I wanted to see. I am so happy she didn’t because I understand that her unconditional belief in me was for me to hold onto hope. My childhood imaginations would always be the hope I should always hold onto.  Yes, the world is messed up but, she allowed me to learn that my internal world doesn’t have to be filled with chaos. Her love is why I am wide awake in a world that’s sleeping. It is because of her that I, at this very moment (3:25 am 7/2/2017), love myself.

The rabbit hole to self-discovery goes deep. How could I not honor a strong woman who gave birth to me. On Oct 17th, I was born and on Oct 17th, so was my son. I believe there is great significance in the dates. Selfish-less-ly I loved my son for the 5 hours he was alive. I was so tired after I had him and for the first time I saw a pool of blood that came from me. My son had to say goodbye to this world on the same day he was born but, those beautiful moments felt like a lifetime. Before I was born I had a sister named Claudine. My mom lost her after she carried my sister around for 8 months. A year later I was conceived. I am the child that came back to my mother. The day I was born I became Miya Claudine. My mother has been carrying me and my sister for far too long. I can feel the love that she has for me and it doesn’t matter what I do, she will never stop loving me.

My mother taught me the life I would end up having if I didn’t quit and like a spoiled brat I chose my idea her reflection. My mother grew up in an era where racism was worst than it is now. Her opportunities were not the same as the are now. I am where I am because I chose to take the path of least resistance. I saw her as a secretary and never thought twice about the racial barriers she had to cross just to become one. My mother should be praised by me achieving to be the best version of myself. Today, I stop the disappointment. When I have to move to San Francisco or be married to a man that mirrors me  I will remember that my mother wants me to be happy  and become the strong woman she instilled in me.

It is now close to 4 in the morning and I have to get up to go to the gym in the few hours so, I will conclude shortly. The singer, John Mayer, wrote two songs that best describes my mother. One is Daughters, in this song he tells fathers to be good to their daughters and in at the end of the chorus he says mothers be good to your daughters too. The other is Bigger Than My Body. He sings, “Someday I’ll fly, someday I’ll soar, Someday I’ll be so damn much more, cause I’m bigger than my body gives me credit for. In truth my mother was more than good to her daughters and she is a woman who taught me to not only be bigger than my body but, to be bigger than the weight of every person and thing in this world.

My mothers birthday was Thursday June 29th and I couldn’t get her anything. This is my gift to her, proof that her wisdom has transcended. I had to make a boat load of mistakes to see she only tried to teach me to love not only others but, also myself. It took me to view myself at a different perspective to understand the love my mother has for me. Parents that love their children will always be there for them. I was blessed to have both of my parents my entire life. I was even more blessed to have a mother who was always present. A mother who always made time for me even while talking on the phone with friends and her BFF, my  Aunt Pat.

If you’ve never seen the movies Terms of Endearment and Steel Magnolias, I highly recommend them.  From these two movies you will get to know the definition of my mother. The mothers cast in these two movies were strong and tough because both women had to endure the pain of having a daughter only to lose them before the end of their life cycle. Even though me and my sister are still alive and well, we should both be dead to my mother because our past actions are a disappointment. She had to carry the weight of our mistakes. The good thing is that it doesn’t have to end there. Today, I will live the life she always wanted by following my dreams. No weapon in this life can ever be formed against me. Even though this is a biblical reference, I was lucky to have a mother to teach me the way to handle life internally and externally. I can freely share my stories because judgement is no longer an option for the rest of my life.

Dear friends, honor your mother even we she is no longer around. Our mothers have taught us that if we put her first we are putting ourselves first because our mothers were able to teach us to become what we dreamed in our childhood. Happy birthday mom, words cannot truly express how much I love you. You are the strong Proverbs 31 Woman I could only hope to be someday. I am so very sorry for the pain I have put you through. While I still have you around I will tribute everyday of my new walk in life to you. Some people honor their parents when they are dead and gone. What better way is there to say I love and appreciate you then expressing my dedication to never disappoint you again. The selfish child in me is dead and gone and thanks to you I am one step closer to finding out what it truly means to be happy.

Thank you for reading my blog on this day made for each of us to discover this life. If you would like to comment by adding your stories please do so below. Also click the like button, follow and/or share with the links.

Find peace and stay golden,



Deuteronomy 5:16-21New International Version (NIV)

16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.