Growing up I had a plethora of aspirations. I wanted to be a dermatologist, singer, dancer, artist, actress, writer, and a wrestler. When I was a little girl I would imagine singing in front of talents I idolized. I dreamt that I would be signed to a major record deal and the rest would be history. When I finally had an opportunity to show the stardom I thought I had, I choked. I majored in vocal performance in High School. Because I wasn’t as good as many of my other classmates, I began to detract from a dream that became a piece of who I was.
I focused on the negative feedback from some of my family members and people I barely knew so, I decided to just give up on my hopes and dreams. I made small attempts to keep my dream alive and had many opportunities but, I wasn’t ready for the disappointment. I allowed my past experiences to affect my present decisions. I did not realize that my dream would cease from ever becoming a reality because I focused too much on the past. I closed the doors before I received a yes or no. Too often we allow ourselves to give up on a dream we have always wanted. We make up every excuse in the book to keep a dream from coming true. From today’s blog I want my readers to know the powers of the heart and mind and the role the subconscious plays in our lives.
I am sure that all of my readers have set goals to make their dreams come true. The subconscious mind plays a huge role in our lives. The subconscious collects things the conscious mind cannot. The subconscious handles all involuntary functions of the human anatomy. It kind of makes me feel as if we are robots. The subconscious takes full control of the systems that make up the human body so it can involuntarily function. One thing that I was able to test and prove is that we can voluntarily control what we cannot see. For years I accepted into my subconscious that I was never good enough to follow my heart’s content. I would never let go of the idea of being a singer. However, I kept my voice to myself. I did not want to try and fail. I allowed my past to teach my subconscious to give up so that I would never have a future in what I loved. I saw past the present and I was certain that there was no future in me becoming a professional singer.
I didn’t fail at a something I hoped for because someone else told me I could never be a singer, I wasn’t pretty enough, my voice wasn’t good enough and I wasn’t thin enough. I temporarily created the illusion of failure because I accepted the ideas of people who don’t care about my happiness. I am to blame. This revolution came to me recently. The only thing in our lives with any substance is the present. The present is what decides who you will become, not the past. If your past is filled with self-hatred and you connect that feeling to the present then like a loop you will always have self-destructive tendencies. The future would only be what you allow. And remember, where the heart goes the mind does follow (Proverbs 23:7)
I turned my future around by letting go of the part of my past that held me back. I have no idea where writing or singing will take me. All that matters to me is that I am doing something I love. I am putting my faith in action because I don’t fear naysayers any longer. Take control of your life completely and live out your dreams. Know that the subconscious controls the things your conscious will not comprehend. While pursuing your dreams, if you continuously get knocked down get back up and teach your inner being the spirit of perseverance. No one ever has the power to steal your joy, only you. Knowing this helps you win the battle. Accept that the past happened in order to build strength in you. When looking into the future make a difference in the now, no exceptions.
I thank my readers for joining me on my thoughts today. If you have any experiences to share please feel free to add your comments. Also, click the like button and share to the links below.
Some events in life we divert ever discussing because the events would be too painful to discuss. My mind went from pillar to post on weather I would discuss this story. I know that by sharing this part of me I would be opening up a part of myself I don’t like to share for fear of being judged negatively. I am so glad I can go back to biblical principles and rid my mind of the troubles of this world. The Bible explains in James 2:14-26 that faith without works is dead. If I just live with the pain of losing alone then I am not actively putting in the faith that my story would change someone else’s life. I want to talk about loss. Everyone reading this blog has suffered some level of loss and it doesn’t matter the extreme, a loss is still a loss. It is important to heal because we all have our own destiny put in place before we were born.
October 17, 2002, the year my life would change forever. On my birthday I met the man who would be the father of my son. He was the perfect illusion. I was at a point in my life where I had purchased my own home at a very young age, I didn’t have any children, and I had an overall great work-life balance. I remember going for walks by myself. I was dedicated to seeing the beauty in nature. I did a great job at being independent because I didn’t want for anything. It wasn’t important for me to have a boyfriend. I occasionally spent time with my friends but, if they were not around I didn’t let it break me. The strength I felt was unbreakable, so I thought.
There were only two men that presented the abuse of a thousand men in multiple lifetimes to me. My son’s father was the first and he was horrifyingly abusive. If you can think of the unimaginable then 9 times out of 10 he did them to me. When I got the keys to my home he was there. He never asked to move in he just ended up staying at my house rent free. I was young, naïve and worst of all, I thought my overall cheerfulness would fix him. The show Love and Hip Hop would be like watching children’s programming when compared to my life when I was with him. When I became pregnant I began going down a destructive path. I lost my job, I was obsessed with fixing who my ex presented himself to be, I allowed him to hit me and cheat on me in my house and in my bed. I could never have friends or family over because if I told them what was really going on he would have killed me. I had my car taken twice because of his negligence. He even tried to stab me in my stomach when I was pregnant with my son. I was even sexually assaulted and robbed by him.
I lost my son after being pregnant for 23 weeks. The events of what led up to his loss happened so fast. I went in for my ultrasound to find out the sex and in a blink of an eye I was in the hospital for several days. A month before I had my son I was baptized. I knew at the baptism that I would lose him. When I was in the hospital the staff did all they could to keep me from experiencing the inevitable. I spent a lot of time being alone. My family did visit me but, my friends made up their own excuses and that was fine because I learned that family will always be the most valuable even the friends that will become my family. October 17th 2005 was the second time I experienced being very close to God.
When I think of the day my son died I can recollect the spiritual nature of what happened. I met his father on my birthday and my son was born and died on the same day three years later. The nurses purchased a cake and added a note to the only remains I would have of my son which were the clothes and hat he wore and photos of him placed in a blue ribbon box. Losing someone deeply connected to you leaves an indescribable pain. After you lose someone and complete the healing process you will learn that the loss is only the beginning of something amazing. I realize now that God, the higher power, had an incredible plan for me. What waits for me is bigger than I could ever envision.
Losing someone is never easy. I wanted to discuss this because there are too many of us who become fixated on the things or people we lose. We forget that in this life nothing is promised and tomorrow is no exception. We must find ways to take the things and people that can only be seen in memory and allow their gift of eternal life to inspire us to live the best life now. This is the gift that not only my son gave; it was also the gift of my ancestors. Hold your breath because in death a new life is formed. Let that life be formed in you by living only for today, one day at a time. Share your gift because it will never die until you fulfill who you are in this world.
Many thanks to all of my readers. If you like this post click the like button and share on the links below. Feel free to share your experiences and general comments.
Until Next Time,
In moments of weakness we often visit a part of the past that will not positively serve us. Yesterday I did not have one of those moments but, I did reflect on moments I shared with my ex. Every good deed collaborated with his truth hidden behind perpetual lies. Time is occupied with moments we share with others. I can remember holding his son and going places with his children. I would always feel out of place. One of those moments I knew without a doubt that being a surrogate mother was not the life for me. Being with him and his children was never a good fit. I used to feel heartbroken when I thought of all the good times I did share with this man and his children. However, yesterday I was set free from the battle of my ex.
Countless times we are driven into a freight train disaster in our past. Every time my ex and I lost sync in our timeline we always repeated the cycle called indefinite destruction. My ex was verbally abusive and it sometimes did get physical. Towards the end I started to record arguments he created so that I would remember to never go back to him when it was over. I have this one recording where he was recording me crying and he told me to get out of his house. He did this so he could show the mother of his youngest child that I was crazy. This man called me weak, pathetic, ugly Betty, a dumbass, said I was too fat to sleep with and the abuse continued.
In the past when it was over I would recover but, like an addict, I would always go back. There were certain elements that made me go back to him. He was the perfect drug and definitely, like all drugs, he was no good for me. Without him being in my life I finished college, I took care of my mind, body and spirit, and more so, I was happy. Every time I went back to him I now realize I was only fake happy. The final bitter end required friends that would help pull me out from darkness. Those friends that I am speaking of truly have no idea how their light was what saved me from snuffing out the light in me. The friends I speak of will gratefully read this blog and I thank them for this deed.
I told a friend once that I wanted to be single because I did not want to hurt anyone. If I could revisit that conversation I’d tell them that I used to be the type of person that didn’t want to get involved in relationships because I did not want to hurt anyone by going back to my ex. The battle is over and I have won. Currently, without a doubt I know I will be with someone who will meet me where I am. I would never go back to my past because I know that I am energetically one with a higher frequency. I understand that I don’t need to manipulate who I am to be less than I am supposed to be any longer. The next guy I fall for will match my vibration. I won’t have to change who I am because the man to be and I would be the perfect combination.
The lesson I attempted to teach was that you don’t to have keep going back to the same person who is no good for you. I went back with hopes to correct the hurt I lived with each time he said goodbye. It is vital to never go back for the sake of happiness. Light can never reach sealed doors. Just know that each time the door is sealed you are the light and you are meant for more than in a past relationship you can’t reach. To know you are healed you will see the same elements in people who could only be rebounds and like your past they too are sealed doors. I thank all of my readings for connecting with me today. We must do all we can to save happiness.
If you like this post click the like button and share with the links below. Also, feel free to add your comments or personal stories.
Until next time,
The one guide stone in my life that seems nearly unyielding in my conscious mind is confidence. The view on my own self-esteem stems from my inability to fully love myself. I’ve had my own conditions when it comes to self-love. And, because everything begins inside of us, it was extremely difficult to love others. It is true, if you can’t appreciate yourself you won’t appreciate others and incidentally others will have difficulty appreciating you. I’ve attacked confidence using many angles. I used affirmations, tried make-up, gave in to my lack of ultimate appearance, focused on my weight, kept my nails and toes done at all times, waxed my eyebrows, kept my feminine touch, and a host of various techniques that only focused on the exterior. All of this seemed to change when I understood what really counts; you must have confidence in the spirit and the gifts of the spirit.
The spirit in all of us is pure. It is our own doing when we allow the spirit to be tainted. I will never fully understand how powerful the spirit is but, I do know that the spirit is the only thing that holds any real weight. I went over being made fun of and how it made me feel. I spent many years abusing my mind, body and spirit because I chose to believe in a lie. I blamed how I felt on everything apart of the surface and like a mirror the surface judged me constantly. I was surrounded by people who would never respect me. Having self-love of the spirit is most significant; it is the guiding star that will guide us through every issue we face in humanity.
When I went out yesterday morning to run an errand I did not care to think about what people thought. I wore my t-shirt, tights and a head scarf. Normally I would put sunglasses on because I would be ashamed of the way I looked. The reason for wearing makeup was so I could attempt to cover up the internal shame I felt. Now I only see beauty with or without the mirror. Once you have been set free from an imprisoned mind influenced by worldly standards, you don’t look back and cry over how things were. You look back and know the things that made you cry were able to strengthen who you are to become. My current confidence is in knowing without a doubt I am destined for greatness and the reason I can be so certain is because I believe I can do all things by the power of the spirit. I understand that not all of my readers will believe in Christianity or God. However, I feel that my beliefs are in alignment with those who don’t believe because you too are destined for greatness. You must believe that there is a higher power within you that makes you unstoppable. By believing that you can achieve anything you put your mind to will only be half the battle. Know that beyond the minds comprehension, the battle is already won. Fellow readers, thank you for visiting. Click the like button and share on the links below. Also, please share your experiences and always keep in mind that the happiness project is to help yourself and others.
Yesterday I went to the Jersey shore with my family. It was an idea I came up with Friday while talking to my mother. One of the many things I am learning on this journey is to spend more time around the people I love; my family. Not only spending time with people I love but, venturing off to various places with them. As you may have learned from my previous post, I had the spirit of a great adventurer in my childhood. As I tap deeper into life I am diving into my inner child. There were many great moments I took from yesterday to hold into my memory. One of the greatest are the moments my nephew and I shared. How can I not respire peace when the ocean is there as an example.
The life we get is filled with duality. Life and death are the choices we are given. What turns this into severe meloncholy is when we allow our humanity to break down the two only to be left with a multitude of layers. The layers we create will work for us or against us so, it is important to understand the powers we all individually hold. We are the magicians in our own lives and we should do our very best to find peace in all things. My nephew and I allowed the sand and the waves to join us in our sacred memory. We talked about the waves and how important it is to understand nature. I believe that we are the seeds that need to be reminded of the significance in knowing where we really come from.
When we know where we come from we can have a better sense in the directions we have taken and will continue to take in life. I have already addressed the role we play at controlling our emotions. When you have learned that you hold all the power of guiding how you feel, you know that peace is essential because life and death are the choices we are given. Peace is the golden treasure worth searching for; it turns every tragedy into a beautiful melody and enables you to tatoo in your mind, body and spirit the importance of protecting self-love and love for others. Having peace means you are able to be still in all condtions.
Yesterday the ocean taught me the true essense of peace. All of these years I’ve never truly understood what peace being still meant. In my new wallk, I now know that peace is the unbreakable ship that can withstand catastropic storms. Peace will allow you to go with the flow while holding onto your spiritual strength. Peace is the thing that will make you unbreakable. I beseech my readers to get peace if you have not already made this a mission. For those who have walked the walk I would be so grateful if you would share your experiences. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts. If you like my content follow me on my journey also, click like, and comment below to share your thoughts.
I woke up at 2:00 am yesterday morning with so many thoughts racing through my mind. I experience this daily and this is the reason why I write. I looked at my phone and saw the messages I had missed. I thought about playing one of the games on my phone until sleep decided to capture my consciousness but, the light from my phone was too intense. After tossing and turning a few minutes, for what felt like hours, I was finally able to focus on one thought. I started to think about the difference between the rational mind and the creative mind. The mind works to protect itself from jumping off the deep end. When people are too rational they become their own worst enemy. They will judge according to fact and leave passion out of any argument. On the other hand, if a person is too creative their mind will only see an illusion. These types of people you may see in mental asylums or worse, commit suicide. There can be an equal balance of the two.
When I was a little girl I used my imagination often. In my preschool years I can remember pretending to be the star of the Nutcracker and I would dance in front of the tree to the tune of the Sugar Plum Fairies. I remember I would tell people that I was invisible so they could not discover my super powers. And, when I first watched Dirty Dancing I would dance on our banister like I was Baby and the banister was Johnny. I had so many adventures when I was a kid. It will always make me laugh when I think of those times. Rationality swooped in from the mouth of my sister when she told me Santa Clause wasn’t real. My heart was broken and I am certain that was the day I decided she was evil. Like bags in an attic, I packed up all of my illusions and never looked back until this present day.
In life we must grow up and allow the rational brain to step in and rule our decision making to an extent. I’ve learned that the rational brain gives us the protection we need against the world and ourselves. But, to what extent should we implement rationality? When people are too logical passion is released from their decisions. In my opinion, this is a gift many of us don’t have. I also feel that it is a curse because logic applies to theory and a theory is just an educated guess. When you strip away the human definition a theory is just an idea some nobody made up and then this nobody graduated to public importance so the sheeps would follow suit. I digress, if you are too theorhetical lighten up a little and alllow some passion in and then guide them to your dreams. Don’t allow what you know, because its only what you think, to keep you from becoming the best version of yourself.
Everyone who knows me will know that I am very emotional. My emotions are married to creativity. When I allow my emotions to get out of control I put on the performance of a lifetime. Blessed is the day I learned how to balance what I feel and what I know. If something is making me sad I consider the idea, process what I feel based off facts, realize that my facts have so many other possibilities and base my decision on what will spiritually improve my life. I operate the same way with happiness because if I am not careful I could allow a thing or person to displace self improvement. I really think my idea fits for every person on the this planet. Being your best self improves life universally. Your drive and spirit will uplift someone else and for this very reason my writing to the world means everything to me.
Thank you to everyone who accepted the invitation into my heart and being open to reading about my ideas of happiness. I really hope that the people who have already achieved the goals I am searching for will visit to share their life lessons because, as I am learning, there are people who will flourish from your wisdom. The idea of not imparting wisdom is criminal. If somene doesn’t listen to me then they weren’t supposed and I will never stop sharing my truth. This is a walk and thank you for taking it with me. Please comment below and share your own ideas to aide in my riot for happiness.
Minds grazed against tethered bootstraps Filled with destruction and so much hate
Rocket into higher dimensions
You finally discovered it was all fate
Together in this union …..
Filled with confusion
Wash it all away
Colors blend to release the wave
The wave of love marked in us
So keep the faith
It will all come together
To clear the path for sunrise
Take a few steps and let go of the lies
Try your best don’t give up the fight
What you hold you will have
Expand to release the past
Don’t grow tired don’t grow weary
Meet with the future if you just hear me
The earth may quake under a thundering laughter
Can’t collect times moving faster
I am far less religious than I used to be. When I first read the Bible the words and what I was being taught meant so much to me. It wasn’t until I peeked into adulthood that I would understand that it’s the spiritual content behind the words that holds the real message. I believe that the path we are shown isn’t always going to be the complete story but, when you are able to see examples of ways to live throughout the ups and downs you can look at your own life and verify the receipts. I am happy that I was raised Christian. More so, I feel better knowing that your spiritual path is not tied down to religion. Religion is something man made because we got confused along this path of spiritual enlightenment.
I learned a lot about revenge throughout my life. In fact, the Bible declares that vengeance is the lords (Romans 12:19). Have you ever stopped to ask yourself who is your lord? The invisible savior lives in you but, we come from a country that was established by a pagan society. Knowing that fact, rooted in America are the gods of many nations. The American way is to go with how you feel verses listening to the God of peace housed in each and every one of us and that can be whatever you need it to be. I credit my own understanding to knowing that there will be no layers between us in our creator. With this knowledge vengeance is another layer that will keep you from living a peaceful life. It will keep you from the life a higher power has set for you before you were born into this world.
When someone has betrayed us the underlying American theme is to retaliate. Despite all spiritual knowledge, I have retaliated a lot and I will be able to see the fruits of my own testament when revenge decides to test me again. I’ve thought so much on resolving this area of my life because not being able to forgive had a hold on me. I thought that to forgive meant to forget but, forgetting has nothing to do with your actions. The key is to never forget. What you should do is remember this: Know in life we are vibrational beings. Much of the human body is made up of water. Think of what happens when there is too much wind in the ocean. The tides will rise and if a storm is present the waves get out of control. Our emotions are the wind that sets our tides to wander to and fro and we allow this to happen. The difference between us and the tides is the ability to control our body’s eco-system. We are given many gifts in life and knowing you have full control on how you manage your spiritual reactions should be the beacon on how to react in any given situation.
Just remember, for every cause there will be a reaction. The spirit of reason is always readily available. Do yourself a favor and calm your soul in all situations. When one allows the higher power to take all control you are leaving that person where they are vibrationally. Meaning, the ones that hurt you know not what they do. What lies within them is something spiritual and you will not be able to understand it so don’t try. Sit back and hold on to your own vibration. Hold on and control the tides inside of you. Moses was able to part the red sea with his faith and I really believe that we all can do the same. I would like to know your take on revenge. As always thank you for reading.
Miya C. Price
I used to believe that loving who I am meant that I had to love everything on the outside. Growing up little girls, not unlike older women, were categorized and judged. This same issue continues in the present day. If you didn’t have fair skin, long hair, or worse if you looked like you did not have enough money to buy the highest costing propaganda you were shunned from your peers and maybe even some family members. Imagine growing up only to have people dismiss you just because you don’t have what they are looking for in a friend; the exterior was all that mattered. I know I am not the only one who experienced this level of treatment. Self-love is one of the greatest challenges in life. Unfortunately, there is no accurate manual on the issue. I’d like to provide my input on what matters on the journey of self-love.
I have been called probably every name in the book. Some people still judge me based off what they see. For a very long time this bothered me. When I was younger I used to stay in my room and hide away from the world. The older I got, the more emo I became. The escape for me was always singing and writing. My stuffed animals were probably a better comfort for me then my environment. My parents would tell me that I was beautiful but, more people that I didn’t know would say I was ugly or scary. Those types of definitions hurt me for a very long time. I am still working through self-love. The good thing is I don’t have to stay stuck on what I accepted from pubescence to adulthood.
My first actions were to recognize the so called flaws. When people would talk about my nose and my gap. I used to try to find ways to never show my face. Staying in the room helped but, then I built relationships with my peers. We were all a small group of misfits. My childhood friends suffered through what I would suffer with, low self-esteem and no self-worth. We connected due to commonality and without them I would never have found a way to hold on to life while experiencing the issues of it. As we got older we drifted apart to begin our own explorations in life separate from one another. That separation was a blessing in disguise. When we went our own way it was time to discover who we are to become in this world. The cushion is removed and if you can withstand the heat of the world you will learn to stand firm.
In order to love me I had to love my flaws and escape the perspective definition of a flaw in this realm. I learned that some of the things people say would be something I would have to climb over for they are nothing but gigantic titanium walls. While walking down the street or at work, anywhere, I’ve learned that holding your head high while concentrating on your strengths helps with the process. When I see myself in the mirror I can see the light shine from the inside out so, that makes me flawless at all times. The things I like about me are able to supersede the negative. Self-love is a process in which I am working through. It would be nice to master the art of self-appreciation. That is why what I talk about is so important.
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in this process to discovering happiness is that confidence bears no weight in judgment. The next time you encounter someone pay attention to your thoughts concerning the individual. What you think of the person is often a reflection of what you see in yourself. If you pay attention to the exterior, you will understand that’s how you judge yourself. When it’s the interior we will either judge fairly or hold a grudge. When you hold a grudge you are holding it against yourself. The nature of as above, so below is heavily implied when facing the battle of self-love. Remember that you are the primary creator in all your paths so, never waste time on what will not make you stronger. Learning to love yourself is the greatest strength in life. Open your eyes with me and share your thoughts on what you think of self-love. Thanks for reading!
Miya C. Price
Imagine yourself listening to a beautiful melody. You get so attached to the tune and the way the frequency positively affects all of your senses. Like a pen defining gravity, the tune shifts into a new atmosphere. The sound is horrible, in fact the sound is so shrill you can feel your eardrums cracking. This is how I define the false pretense of trust. People grow up understanding the very opposite of trust. We trust those we “love”, and close the door on people who have done us wrong or worse complete strangers. Is this the true definition of trust? Do we get warm and settled with this idea? I would say no, because I understand the true nature of trust. There is a way out of not trusting others and it may not be what you think.
The King James Version, Proverbs 3:5-6, states to “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding; In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.” In the world I know there are few people who actually know how to truly trust. Sometimes we will trust in the very idea of it and if we are not careful we’ll end up falling short from understanding what trusting should mean. When you have little to no spiritual ties to a higher power it can make understanding how to trust a lot harder. On the other hand, having spiritual ties does not exempt that trusting is a challenge.
Reprogramming oneself should be a top priority. At the start, work on connecting with what you think trust is. For most of us, trust only applies to the people you know. It isn’t until you experience a devastating blow from someone you love that you will begin to not trust anyone. When you lead to that idea that you can’t trust anyone you begin the process of not being able to trust yourself. So it becomes this vicious cycle of unforgiveness transforming into an atmosphere you can’t trust. In life there is an answer for everything. Begin by accepting that trust itself is a false pretense and that it’s attached to something unconditional. I truly believe people block their own blessings when they trust only who they know.
The cure is exhilarating. It will lead you to understand that love and trust work hand and hand. We all need people that would catch us if we fell. Get out of the idea that all you need is you and the people you know. Doing so will lead you to the essence of trust. Don’t allow yourself to be imprisoned by false ideas. If a million people end up hurting you keep a steady reminder that they have the same idea of trust as you and accept that those people have an undying pain that they are living with. It will not be your battle to fight, so just trust they will make it through their own internal war.
When you fail to trust someone you are actually putting up a warning sign telling that person not to trust you in return. Change the lens and see that people can’t be there for you all of the time. Your heart will be broken a million times and maybe more but, never allow an aching heart to rule how you treat others. I don’t care who it is friend or foe. Trust that everything falls into its own place when confusion is not involved. When you let go of the need to input your emotions by letting them take full control, there will you find peace. I encourage anyone who is reading this post to think about the path of trust. Provide your input in the comment section below so we can set up a dialog for healing. I thank you for reading.
Miya C. Price